Moving Through Infidelity
“Catastrophe has a way of propelling us into the essence of things.” -Esther Perel
An affair can be a deeply painful and overwhelming experience for many couples since it involves a major breach of trust and uncertainty about the future.
Depending on the circumstances of an affair, it is understandable that it might feel confusing to determine the best course of action or to even imagine what might be possible together given the situation. Making the choice to repair and re-build your relationship can be a difficult one.
Partners may be in shock, deeply confused or conflicted, or might know deep down that it is finally time to part ways. Often, there can be significant value in exploring the context in which an affair has occurred and in considering more carefully each partner’s perspective.
What Now?
When both partners are experiencing intense emotions as a result of an affair, it can feel nearly impossible to determine the next steps in a thoughtful manner. Sometimes affairs can offer a unique opportunity for growth in the relationship. However, it might take some time and emotional work before growth is able to occur. Growth happens when each partner is willing to explore their needs/wants and patterns in the current relationship dynamic.
Therapy for infidelity can help you to:
- Gain clarity about how to move forward in the relationship
- Gain clarity about how to part ways should you choose
- Heal and strengthen the sense of self and identity for each person
- Forgive and find meaning in the affair
- Assume greater responsibility for the kind of relationship each person would like to re-build or pursue
- Understand your motivations
- Express your needs more constructively
- Begin to repair trust/ make amends
- Explore important but neglected aspects of the relationship
- Allow space for each person to heal from the experience
- Obtain the necessary guidance, compassion, and encouragement to navigate the experience
- Restore a sense of dignity to your relationship
- Take steps to end or put closure on an affair