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Returning to Therapy: Finding Steady Ground Amidst Change, Uncertainty, and Hope

Jennifer Uhrlass — Tue, 05 Aug 2025 00:17:53 +0000

Sometimes, life hands us more than one major transition at once. A new medical diagnosis. The emotional complexity of trying to conceive. An ever-present undercurrent of anxiety or uncertainty. And even in the midst of love and support, you can find yourself wondering:

How do I hold all of this? How do I stay grounded?

If you’re here, it’s because something inside you knows: it’s time to return to therapy. Not because you’re falling apart—but because you’re ready to care for yourself in a deeper, more intentional way. You’ve done this work before. You know how powerful it can be. And now, in this new chapter, you’re seeking steady support as you move through it all—gracefully, but not alone.

You Are Carrying A Lot (And That Makes Sense)

Getting a new medical diagnosis can tilt your world off center—even when it’s manageable, even when you’re doing “all the right things.” It can bring up fear, grief, confusion, questions about what the future holds. Layer on the emotional process of trying to conceive—and it’s no wonder that anxiety has been louder lately.

Let’s name what’s true: you’re navigating a swirl of hope and fear, of timelines and what-ifs, of medical appointments and emotional weight. You’re holding space for your body’s changing needs, your emotional waves, and your desire to stay open and connected to your partner in the midst of it all.

Of course this feels overwhelming.

You are doing your best to remain calm and present—but the anxiety? It creeps in. It fills the in-between moments. And when you’re already stretched thin, even small things can feel big.

This isn’t about weakness. This is about being human.

Returning to Therapy Isn’t a Step Back — It’s a Step Inward

Therapy isn’t just something we use when we’re in crisis. It’s a tool for returning to ourselves—especially in seasons where everything feels like it’s shifting.

You’ve been here before. You know the kind of relief and insight it can bring. And now, you’re wiser. You’re more ready than ever to approach therapy with clarity about what you want to get from it: stability, resilience, and a better way to manage the anxious moments that are taking up too much space in your head and heart.

You’re not looking for a magic fix. You’re looking for real tools. Emotional grounding. A space to process what’s happening medically, relationally, physically. You want to stay connected to yourself and your partner. You want to stay open, hopeful—and whole.

That’s what therapy can offer you now.

Your Relationship Is A Strength—and a Priority

Going through major transitions that require intense personal strength can challenge even the strongest relationships. A partner who listens, who shows up, who wants to support you through everything. That foundation matters. And it’s worth nurturing—especially in times of stress and uncertainty. Therapy helps to provide clarity, emotional support, and a space to process personal needs so that the relationship doesn’t suffer.

You may have noticed something important: that while your partner is incredibly supportive, he sometimes holds back what’s going on inside of him. And that matters too.

Wanting to be there for him as much as he’s been there for you is not just generous—it’s wise. Because relationships thrive when both people feel seen, heard, and emotionally supported. Especially during seasons of uncertainty and stress.

Returning to therapy can help you to:

Stay attuned to your own emotional needs without shutting your partner out.
Develop ways of inviting your partner into gentle, open conversations—even about the hard stuff.
Explore how to better listen and emotionally engage with his experience, while not losing yourself in the process.
Keep your connection strong, even as you both navigate the emotional demands of this season.

This is relationship work through the lens of your individual therapy. It’s subtle but powerful—and you’re more than capable of doing it.

Navigating Anxiety in Real Time

The anxious moments you’re feeling now are likely very different from the ones you’ve experienced before. They may come out of nowhere—during a doctor’s visit, in the middle of a workday, late at night when your thoughts are racing. They may be tied to uncertainty about health, fertility, the future. Or they may simply be your body’s way of trying to make sense of all the “unknowns.”

In therapy, we’ll create space for those moments—not to get stuck in them, but to understand what they’re trying to tell you. You’ll learn how to:

Recognize the early signals of anxious overwhelm.
Stay with the feeling, instead of fighting it or running from it.
Use grounding tools and nervous system regulation techniques to return to the present moment.
Understand how your anxiety shows up in your body, your thoughts, and your patterns—and learn how to disrupt that loop with kindness and clarity.

This is work you don’t have to do alone. And you don’t have to wait until it feels unbearable.

You Deserve Support Now, Not Later

You’ve already made it through so much. You’ve shown up. You’ve stayed strong. But now it’s time to also be soft. To be supported. To stop pushing through without pause.

Therapy gives you room to breathe–to feel, to clarify, to plan with peace instead of panic. To slow down without losing momentum. And to reconnect—to yourself, your body, your desires, and your future.

Whether or not this season unfolds the way you hope, you deserve to move through it with steadiness, with dignity, and with the presence of someone in your corner—someone who’s there to hold space just for you.

You’re ready. Let’s begin.

If this feels like your next right step, reach out today. Therapy can be a powerful companion on your path toward more clarity, calm, and connection—even in life’s most uncertain seasons.

The post Returning to Therapy: Finding Steady Ground Amidst Change, Uncertainty, and Hope appeared first on Modern MFT.

A Holistic Approach to Treating Depression…

Jennifer Uhrlass — Wed, 08 Jul 2020 18:07:41 +0000

Feeling depressed sucks, but there is hope…

Frequency and Presentation:

It is estimated that depression affects approximately 16% of the US population.

Depression can feel like seeing life through dark sunglasses, making it hard to find any joy in daily life. You might feel withdrawn and desire to isolate more and more. Depression can look like prolonged sadness, loneliness, irritability, lack of motivation, sleep issues, frustration, anger, resentment, and can lead a person to isolate and pull away from connecting with others; inadvertently worsening the feelings of depression. Life then, can become a self fulfilling prophesy–you feel depressed and then you don’t take any action and because you don’t take action, you continue to feel depressed.

Sometimes it can feel so apparent that something needs to change, but actually taking that first step of asking for help feels like the hardest part.

Context

In my experience, depression, and more generally speaking mood related issues, also manifest differently based on an individual’s identity, background, socialization, and environmental factors that are experienced as being “out of one’s control,” making it difficult to identify mood concerns as depression. One example of this was found in a recent study published by the Journal of the American Medical Association which found that when men are depressed they may experience symptoms that are different than what is included in the current diagnostic criteria. Although men were likely to experience many traditional depression symptoms, men were much more likely to report symptoms of anger attacks/aggression, irritability, substance abuse, and risk-taking behaviors over symptoms such as withdrawal from friends, sleep problems, and feelings of complaintiveness. (JAMA Psychiatry)

Depression may manifest as a major impairment or in a more mild form which prevents you from actively working toward your goals and living with more intention. If left untreated, depression can be quite damaging to your sense of self, perceived competence, and your ability to maintain satisfying relationships.

Finding Relief…

Therapy for depression includes constructing a plan to relieve symptoms which also involves developing a deeper understanding of how to feel empowered within the contextual factors that contribute to what you’re experiencing. A holistic, 6-part approach has been known to be effective when treating depression:

Brain Food– evaluating your diet and making changes to help support your mood and overall functioning can help to improve moods. I often collaborate with other providers such as your primary care physician and nutritionist in order to help you make improvements in a healthy and responsible way.
Action-putting into place a plan that is doable. Setting achievable goals and following through with them is part of managing depression. Through therapy, we will also help you to put outside supports in place and create a sense of community for yourself.
Exercise– studies have shown that just 35 minutes of working out even in the form of a simple brisk walk, can be just as impactful as medications for depression so it’s worth giving it a try. In therapy, you will be able to make a plan that works for your lifestyle so you can make realistic progress.
Exposure to light-bright light stimulates the brain’s production of serotonin, which is crucial to our well-being. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter with widespread effects on mood and behavior. (The Depression Cure)
Sleep-is critical to our overall well-being and worth working on to improve. Here are a few tips to help you make some adjustments (list adapted from the book The Depression Cure, by Dr. Stephen Ilardi):
- Set the scene for sleep. What does your bedroom look and feel like? Is it peaceful and conducive to rest? If not, what small improvements can you make to help set the scene? Studies show that cooler temperatures and a dark room facilitates higher quality sleep.
- Anytime you’ve been lying awake for fifteen minutes, get up, leave the bedroom, and do something relaxing until you feel drowsy enough to return to bed.
- Avoid getting into bed anytime you aren’t drowsy.
- Anything you do to increase your drowsiness should be done somewhere other than the bedroom.
- You can make an exception in the case of sex.
- Avoid sleeping anywhere other than your own bed (i.e.- sofa, guest room, recliner).
  - Also helpful: get up at the same time every day, avoid napping, avoid bright light at night, avoid caffeine and other stimulants, avoid alcohol at night, if possible, keep the same bedtime every night, avoid taking your problems to bed with you (try a brain dump in a journal before getting to bed for example), don’t try to fall asleep.
Cultivate healthy, reciprocal connections/ let go of toxicity-connection heals and combats loneliness. All of us are born to connect. When we don’t feel meaningfully connected to others, we inevitably suffer. The late researcher, Dr. John Cacioppo developed the following acronym to help people with the process of cultivating connection. He believed it was important to EASE your way back into social connections…
- The first E stands for “extend yourself,” but extend yourself safely. Do a little bit at a time.
- The A is “have an action plan.” Recognize that it’s hard for you. Most people don’t need to like you, and most people won’t. So deal with that, it’s not a judgment of you, there’s lots of things going on. Ask [other people] about themselves, get them talking about their interests.
- The S is “seek collectives.” People like similar others, people who have similar interests, activities, values. That makes it easier to find a synergy.
- And finally when you do those things, “Expect” the best. The reason for that is to try to counteract this hyper-vigilance for social threat.

Hope

Therapy can be instrumental in making important shifts when it comes to managing depression. In my practice, I work with folks to help them honor what their depression may be trying to communicate and set a realistic plan to create a healthy routine and connection. Together we’ll work to help you gain a sense of stability while creating a more sustainable path forward. Treatment will take into consideration your history, past coping mechanisms, overall health and wellness, and your current support system and aim to strengthen these areas. Therapy is a unique type of service in that it requires you to be active both inside and outside of the therapy office. With that said, therapy requires a commitment to the process and a willingness to try something new and different.

Lisa A. Martin, PhD¹; Harold W. Neighbors, PhD²; Derek M. Griffith, PhD^3,4

JAMA Psychiatry. 2013;70(10):1100-1106. doi:10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2013.1985

The Depression Cure by Stephen Ilardi

**This post is meant to provide general educational information regarding the management of depression; it does not take the place of therapy or medical advice from your doctor.

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