Anxiety Archives | Modern MFT

Returning to Therapy: Finding Steady Ground Amidst Change, Uncertainty, and Hope

Jennifer Uhrlass — Tue, 05 Aug 2025 00:17:53 +0000

Sometimes, life hands us more than one major transition at once. A new medical diagnosis. The emotional complexity of trying to conceive. An ever-present undercurrent of anxiety or uncertainty. And even in the midst of love and support, you can find yourself wondering:

How do I hold all of this? How do I stay grounded?

If you’re here, it’s because something inside you knows: it’s time to return to therapy. Not because you’re falling apart—but because you’re ready to care for yourself in a deeper, more intentional way. You’ve done this work before. You know how powerful it can be. And now, in this new chapter, you’re seeking steady support as you move through it all—gracefully, but not alone.

You Are Carrying A Lot (And That Makes Sense)

Getting a new medical diagnosis can tilt your world off center—even when it’s manageable, even when you’re doing “all the right things.” It can bring up fear, grief, confusion, questions about what the future holds. Layer on the emotional process of trying to conceive—and it’s no wonder that anxiety has been louder lately.

Let’s name what’s true: you’re navigating a swirl of hope and fear, of timelines and what-ifs, of medical appointments and emotional weight. You’re holding space for your body’s changing needs, your emotional waves, and your desire to stay open and connected to your partner in the midst of it all.

Of course this feels overwhelming.

You are doing your best to remain calm and present—but the anxiety? It creeps in. It fills the in-between moments. And when you’re already stretched thin, even small things can feel big.

This isn’t about weakness. This is about being human.

Returning to Therapy Isn’t a Step Back — It’s a Step Inward

Therapy isn’t just something we use when we’re in crisis. It’s a tool for returning to ourselves—especially in seasons where everything feels like it’s shifting.

You’ve been here before. You know the kind of relief and insight it can bring. And now, you’re wiser. You’re more ready than ever to approach therapy with clarity about what you want to get from it: stability, resilience, and a better way to manage the anxious moments that are taking up too much space in your head and heart.

You’re not looking for a magic fix. You’re looking for real tools. Emotional grounding. A space to process what’s happening medically, relationally, physically. You want to stay connected to yourself and your partner. You want to stay open, hopeful—and whole.

That’s what therapy can offer you now.

Your Relationship Is A Strength—and a Priority

Going through major transitions that require intense personal strength can challenge even the strongest relationships. A partner who listens, who shows up, who wants to support you through everything. That foundation matters. And it’s worth nurturing—especially in times of stress and uncertainty. Therapy helps to provide clarity, emotional support, and a space to process personal needs so that the relationship doesn’t suffer.

You may have noticed something important: that while your partner is incredibly supportive, he sometimes holds back what’s going on inside of him. And that matters too.

Wanting to be there for him as much as he’s been there for you is not just generous—it’s wise. Because relationships thrive when both people feel seen, heard, and emotionally supported. Especially during seasons of uncertainty and stress.

Returning to therapy can help you to:

Stay attuned to your own emotional needs without shutting your partner out.
Develop ways of inviting your partner into gentle, open conversations—even about the hard stuff.
Explore how to better listen and emotionally engage with his experience, while not losing yourself in the process.
Keep your connection strong, even as you both navigate the emotional demands of this season.

This is relationship work through the lens of your individual therapy. It’s subtle but powerful—and you’re more than capable of doing it.

Navigating Anxiety in Real Time

The anxious moments you’re feeling now are likely very different from the ones you’ve experienced before. They may come out of nowhere—during a doctor’s visit, in the middle of a workday, late at night when your thoughts are racing. They may be tied to uncertainty about health, fertility, the future. Or they may simply be your body’s way of trying to make sense of all the “unknowns.”

In therapy, we’ll create space for those moments—not to get stuck in them, but to understand what they’re trying to tell you. You’ll learn how to:

Recognize the early signals of anxious overwhelm.
Stay with the feeling, instead of fighting it or running from it.
Use grounding tools and nervous system regulation techniques to return to the present moment.
Understand how your anxiety shows up in your body, your thoughts, and your patterns—and learn how to disrupt that loop with kindness and clarity.

This is work you don’t have to do alone. And you don’t have to wait until it feels unbearable.

You Deserve Support Now, Not Later

You’ve already made it through so much. You’ve shown up. You’ve stayed strong. But now it’s time to also be soft. To be supported. To stop pushing through without pause.

Therapy gives you room to breathe–to feel, to clarify, to plan with peace instead of panic. To slow down without losing momentum. And to reconnect—to yourself, your body, your desires, and your future.

Whether or not this season unfolds the way you hope, you deserve to move through it with steadiness, with dignity, and with the presence of someone in your corner—someone who’s there to hold space just for you.

You’re ready. Let’s begin.

If this feels like your next right step, reach out today. Therapy can be a powerful companion on your path toward more clarity, calm, and connection—even in life’s most uncertain seasons.

The post Returning to Therapy: Finding Steady Ground Amidst Change, Uncertainty, and Hope appeared first on Modern MFT.

Learning how to set healthy boundaries…

Jennifer Uhrlass — Wed, 08 Jul 2020 18:42:08 +0000

Setting better boundaries doesn’t happen overnight…

Deepening your understanding of your current boundary needs and setting a plan to honor them is radical self-love.

If you have a hard time setting boundaries, you might struggle to feel productive or that you’re truly tending to your own needs. Life often feels scary and overwhelming without them. You set boundaries to protect yourself and so you can be at your best. Thinking carefully about your boundaries with self and others helps you to be more intentional.

Can you think of a recent experience where you could have benefited from setting a better boundary?

When I first started my private practice back in 2014, some of the advice I received was “you want to be available anytime so you can accommodate appointments.” It can be easy to overextend yourself in the service of others–especially as a therapist. While this may sound like a great idea in theory, what I’ve learned in my decade of being a practicing therapist is that offering the special service of therapy is a very energy-sensitive kind of offering–one that requires great care to deliver well. If I am not rested, nourished, or if I’m struggling in some way to meet my own needs, it’s not possible for me to provide the best possible service to my clients. In being thoughtful about my boundaries when it comes to type of offering/ when I offer my services and for how long, I am able to map out my time in such a way that allows me to be at my best.

When you have good and clear boundaries with self and others, everyone wins. Because I have thought through my own needs, I’m able to be flexible in certain areas and I also know where I’m not able to be flexible.

What do boundary problems look like?

Boundary problems often present themselves in two ways: diffuse or rigid. When boundaries are too diffuse, we may struggle with enmeshed relationships. Essentially, there is too much closeness. When boundaries are too rigid, we might struggle to let someone in or build healthy connection with others. Essentially, we are too distant and have a hard time trusting others.

Boundary issues are important to correct and work on because they impact how we function in various relationships — with partners, colleagues, family members, friendships, and even on a first date.

Boundary issues can cause serious problems if unaddressed because they can lead us to being taken advantage of, exploited, or unable to feel entitled to stand our ground on an issue. They can also lead to shutting people out, isolating ourselves, and not asking for help when we need it.

In real life this might look like:

Struggling to say no when you want to
Not listening to yourself/ going against your judgment
Indecision for fear of letting others down
Giving in too easily
Not being clear with others
Subordinating your needs to others
Withholding from others
Closing self off from connection
Struggling to reach out
Struggling to make meaningful connections

What are intrapersonal boundaries?

A critical but often overlooked aspect of this work is intrapersonal boundaries or boundaries within self. We often think of boundaries in the context of being between people, but boundaries within self are just as important.

For example, how you might talk to yourself about engaging in a potentially harmful situation or leaving work at a normal time rather than overworking. Intrapersonal boundary work is especially important since we can’t change others, we can only change ourselves. You can begin to work on boundary issues by practicing out loud what it sounds like/ feels like to say “yes” and “no” in specific situations of your life.

I’ll share more about this in an upcoming post ; )

If you are struggling with this area, here are a few questions that might be helpful to consider:

My ideal situation would be_____.
I wish _____ was different about _______.
What makes it tough to set a boundary when it comes to _______?
How would it feel to have a more clear boundary in place as it relates to _______?
What are my top priorities right now?
What are three areas of struggle for me right now and how long has it felt this way?

The post Learning how to set healthy boundaries… appeared first on Modern MFT.

How to Handle Work-Related Stress…

Jennifer Uhrlass — Tue, 06 Mar 2018 17:47:23 +0000

“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Getting Better at Handling Work-Related Stress

While a little stress can help nudge us toward a desired outcome, feeling completely overwhelmed by excessive amounts of stress/worry can cause serious harm to our well-being and personal productivity.

When we have a lot going on, it can be a challenge to know what to prioritize. In order to bring about actual change, we must first lower our stress levels so that we can think straight and set a good plan in place. When we are effectively managing our lives and our stress levels, we can operate from a place of calm, improve our productivity, and make thoughtful decisions.

Here are five strategies to help you get started:

Recognize the Source of Your Stress

Write down your three biggest stressors and why they are causing so much worry.

What do you wish was different about each situation or stressor? Is there anything you could try doing that you haven’t already tried to begin to improve the situation? How long has it felt this bad?

Perhaps you have a difficult relationship with your boss or business partner, or maybe you feel stuck when it comes to making an important life decision… perhaps you’re struggling in an important relationship and are unsure if things can really be fixed.

Taking some time to clarify your concerns will help you to begin brainstorming appropriate solutions and action steps.

Plan Some Fun

When we’re stressed or overwhelmed, we can easily neglect the importance of lighter moments. In his popular book Play, Dr. Stuart Brown illustrates how play is a biological drive as integral to our health as sleep or nutrition. Don’t let a busy or demanding schedule prevent you from enjoying some fun!

Plan a night out with friends or with your partner. Be sure to set the date at least a week in advance so you have some time to anticipate it.

Create a Positive Support System

Adequate support is critical when it comes to managing your stress levels. It can significantly help to diversify your support system. For example, if you’re in a relationship, maybe your partner is an important source of support, but perhaps you have an outside friend or a colleague who just “gets it” with whom you can also rely on for support.

In creating a variety of choices, you strengthen your ability to manage daily stressors more effectively. Community supports are also a great addition— your local yoga studio or that spin class you love, or even an old hobby you’ve put on the back burner can provide a much needed respite from work-related stress. Diversify your support system so you have a menu of options throughout the day, week, and month.

Don’t Forget to Laugh

We all love to laugh, but sometimes when we feel overwhelmed, we just don’t feel like it or think to engage in lightheartedness. Have a favorite youtube video or comedian? Add them to your support network. Give yourself a mini comedy break and experience the many benefits of laughter throughout your week. If you come across something especially funny, share it with a friend who you know will appreciate it too. This helps to build connection around the issues and serves as a mini distraction to help you get through a tough day.

Ask For Help

Sometimes it’s tough to ask for help or be vulnerable about what’s not going well or working out. But doing so often has many benefits. It’s okay to start small, maybe with one friend over coffee or brunch. Try sharing a mild-moderate concern that you don’t usually talk about together.

You might start with: “I’ve been wanting to discuss this with someone, but it’s really difficult for me to share it.” Being able to develop a comfort level with sharing from a place of vulnerability is challenging at times, but often leads to more satisfying relationships and deeper intimacy. Saying something like: “I’m overwhelmed and unhappy at work, and I’m not sure what to do about it.” Having difficult conversations and sharing vulnerabilities often become easier with practice.

It’s inevitable that we will always have to deal with some level of stress—whether work-related or due to other relationships (family and friends), politics, our dating life, illness, etc., the key then becomes how do we go about proactively managing stress so that it’s not as overwhelming or getting in the way of our goals.

By engaging in some of the options above, over time you’ll learn more about what works best for you. With a menu of options that you can choose from throughout the week, you’ll strengthen your ability to manage your stress levels more easily.

Ready for a change? Therapy can help.

How to Get Started

The post How to Handle Work-Related Stress… appeared first on Modern MFT.