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Therapy is a very unique type of service, and is often misunderstood in our current cultural landscape. In a world where we simply “change the channel” or, swipe on something we no longer want to engage in, therapy invites us to sit and to consider; to wonder; and to work in a thoughtful manner to design a better outcome for our life.

If you aren’t already familiar with the process of therapy, you may not be accustomed to the idea of paying someone for this special service. Alternatively, perhaps you’ve tried therapy before, but didn’t feel you had positive results. This is where it can be helpful to understand further the value exchange since therapy services can range greatly in terms of cost and quality. If you’ve tried therapy but didn’t feel you had positive results, this may be due to many factors. Reasons for unsuccessful treatment can vary, but might include that the therapist of choice didn’t have the right level of experience or training to help. Or, that for some reason, the client was struggling to actively engage or commit to the effort required to yield more desirable results.

As a therapist who has been trained to help others sit with emotion and to help emotionally strengthen others in a profound way, “the swipe left/ right culture” is in direct opposition to how I operate as both a human being and a provider. It has been sad to see large-scale telehealth companies using the line ‘change therapists at any time, no questions asked’ as a type of marketing point as if that’s some sort of indication of an overall positive thing. This is not to say choice isn’t a good thing, but it is to say: perhaps we are rushing through and running from something instead of facing the thing and committing to the work.

The current “anything goes/ instant results” landscape seems to go against the true essence of good and effective therapy and its purpose. I believe therapy is most useful and effective when the therapist is responsibly holding the frame and facilitating the course of treatment which includes clear communication, clear expectations, and a commitment to the work on both sides.

Why therapy?

Having doubts or concerns about starting therapy is completely normal. Most of us are not used to investing in therapy–meaning it might not be a part of our typical monthly or annual routine/ budget–and so as a result, we don’t have any context in which to place the investment in our mind’s eye…

There’s no denying that therapy is an investment of time, energy, and money, and so it’s important that you choose a therapist wisely. It also requires a willingness to explore the self and a commitment to the process which can feel challenging at times. Especially since it requires you to carve out time to show up each week.

As a therapist, I believe ‘the goal of therapy is to end therapy.’

While each situation is a little different and there are circumstances and situations that may require more long term support and care; generally speaking–therapy is most often a time-limited pursuit. I think of therapy as a course of treatment designed to help you make important improvements to your life (whatever form that may take). Therapy can help you heal from unresolved traumas, family of origin wounds, and gain awareness into any vulnerabilities that are keeping you stuck or struggling in some way.

Through a caring, individualized therapeutic alliance, that is designed to provide both a comforting and challenging environment, your therapist helps you to see yourself from a more authentic and compassionate stance while helping you to take meaningful action toward your desired outcome(s).

Therapy is an investment in your relational and emotional well-being designed to have a lasting positive impact.

While experience isn’t the only factor that goes into making the therapist effective, it can certainly make a big difference in the treatment and helping you work toward your goals. An experienced therapist who is fully licensed and who has been practicing for several years will have a breadth and depth of clinical experience and knowledge that newer therapists would not yet have been able to cultivate given their lack of experience. This is not to say that newer therapists are not helpful, however, you may find the lack of experience to inhibit progress in some important ways depending on your situation and presenting issues.

Understanding the landscape of mental health treatment in general…

The mental health system is a broken one. While there can be many positive aspects to our healthcare system in a broad strokes sense, there are also many challenges. Meaning that as a system, it isn’t functioning all that well and a lot of people struggle to get the right care they need when they need it. Providers do their part to create more accessibility in general and offer services on a sliding scale basis as well as group work. Companies are beginning to tune in more deeply to the importance of mental health overall and offer resources and stipends to their employees. And in general, there’s less overall stigma and people are more educated on the many benefits of therapy and the ways it can significantly improve their quality of life. In addition, there are also many helpful resources that have been developed to help improve access to high quality mental health services, which I will share at the end of this article. While the landscape has significantly shifted over the last ten years, there is still much work to be done. By truly valuing the service of therapy, we continue to move in the direction of truly valuing our peace, well-being and our relational health. 

Another factor impacting the overall landscape of therapy services is the low in-network insurance reimbursement rates for providers. As a result, many experienced therapists opt not to take insurance directly (in-network) because they simply wouldn’t be able to sustain themselves. Licensed therapists, similar to doctors and attorneys have spent many years training to become competent in their chosen field often taking out loans to complete their studies. Once a therapist completes graduate school, there are several more years of training required in order to become fully and independently licensed. This failure to acknowledge and respond to the realities of the cost associated with becoming an experienced and highly trained professional therapist contributes to the discord and disjointedness of how services are seen and utilized.

But I’ve never considered therapy to be an important investment…

Lots of folks don’t, and that’s part of the issue. We tend to value therapy only when we are in crisis, but not so much during regular times. Think for a moment what you spent time and money on over these last three months…as you reflect, how did your spending serve you? Do you have any regrets? Do you feel positive about what you seem to deem valuable? What might you change moving forward?

Therapy is the type of service often not thought about until you are feeling “in need of it,” which can impact how we think about investing in it. It can be helpful to contextualize therapy as a unique service and view it as a more time-limited expense rather than a long-term one. It can also be helpful to view therapy as a co-constructed course of treatment with a beginning, middle, and end. The therapist, who is trained to help with the specific issues you are facing, serves as a helpful guide on your unique journey.

Isn’t it like going to the doctor?

Similar but different. As the field of therapy moved over to primarily being controlled by managed care (insurance companies), the way psychotherapy services were offered drastically shifted as the insurance companies moved in to take ownership over the entire experience. As a result, the insurance companies deem how much services should cost and how long a person should be treated for–which can be limiting for many seeking the right care. For this reason, many therapists opt not to contract with insurance companies directly.

In addition, psychotherapy involves the development of an ongoing therapeutic relationship which involves the client sharing personal details about their life that is unique to the service when compared with other types of treatment providers.

Can I afford it?

This is a unique question because it also invites the question what are you willing to spend time and money on and why? Therapy might not be where you want to skimp and here’s why…

• it’s temporary (in most cases, though not all)
• it’s an important investment
• it can significantly improve the quality of your life
• cost is often influenced by therapist’s level of experience and training

Will insurance help pay for it?

In many cases, if you have insurance that covers out-of-network coverage, the answer is likely yes. You will want to contact the number on the back of your insurance card to find out if your contract covers out of network mental health services. You can also ask about the specific codes: 90791 (initial psychiatric assessment), 90847 (family/ couple work), and 90834 (individual psychotherapy) to learn more about the specific coverage of each. This can help you to make informed decisions regarding your care. In most cases, an experienced and highly trained therapist may be a more costly option, but you may find the work is more succinct and helpful overall—resulting in less time, energy and money spent in the long run. Ultimately, it’s important to consider your own specific needs and resources and make an informed decision from there.

What if I can’t afford it?

If you’re finding that the cost is out of reach after considering your personal situation in the context of the landscape of therapy, don’t lose hope. There are many wonderful resources that provide high quality care at low or no cost. You may have to do some research and provide some details about your income, but there are great options out there which I have outlined below. While the most important qualities to look for in a therapist are training and experience, the next most important quality is how comfortable you feel with them. (Studies show the effectiveness of therapy depends on a high quality therapeutic relationship!)

Ackerman Institute for the Family (NY- based)

Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy (NY- based)

Alma 

Loveland Foundation -provides assistance for Black women and girls seeking therapy services.

Open Path Collective 

While the initial efforts involved in starting therapy can feel a bit cumbersome at first, therapy is work worth doing. Taking the time to address struggles and tend to our personal barriers helps us grow stronger in the long run. Taking active steps toward the life we desire to live is a powerful form of self-love!

The post Curious About Therapy, But Not Sure Where to Begin… appeared first on Modern MFT.

Deepening your understanding of your current boundary needs and setting a plan to honor them is radical self-love.

If you have a hard time setting boundaries, you might struggle to feel productive or that you’re truly tending to your own needs. Life often feels scary and overwhelming without them. You set boundaries to protect yourself and so you can be at your best. Thinking carefully about your boundaries with self and others helps you to be more intentional.

Can you think of a recent experience where you could have benefited from setting a better boundary?

When I first started my private practice back in 2014, some of the advice I received was “you want to be available anytime so you can accommodate appointments.” It can be easy to overextend yourself in the service of others–especially as a therapist. While this may sound like a great idea in theory, what I’ve learned in my decade of being a practicing therapist is that offering the special service of therapy is a very energy-sensitive kind of offering–one that requires great care to deliver well. If I am not rested, nourished, or if I’m struggling in some way to meet my own needs, it’s not possible for me to provide the best possible service to my clients. In being thoughtful about my boundaries when it comes to type of offering/ when I offer my services and for how long, I am able to map out my time in such a way that allows me to be at my best.

When you have good and clear boundaries with self and others, everyone wins. Because I have thought through my own needs, I’m able to be flexible in certain areas and I also know where I’m not able to be flexible.

What do boundary problems look like?

Boundary problems often present themselves in two ways: diffuse or rigid. When boundaries are too diffuse, we may struggle with enmeshed relationships. Essentially, there is too much closeness. When boundaries are too rigid, we might struggle to let someone in or build healthy connection with others. Essentially, we are too distant and have a hard time trusting others.

Boundary issues are important to correct and work on because they impact how we function in various relationships — with partners, colleagues, family members, friendships, and even on a first date.

Boundary issues can cause serious problems if unaddressed because they can lead us to being taken advantage of, exploited, or unable to feel entitled to stand our ground on an issue. They can also lead to shutting people out, isolating ourselves, and not asking for help when we need it.

In real life this might look like:

• Struggling to say no when you want to
• Not listening to yourself/ going against your judgment
• Indecision for fear of letting others down
• Giving in too easily
• Not being clear with others
• Subordinating your needs to others
• Withholding from others
• Closing self off from connection
• Struggling to reach out
• Struggling to make meaningful connections

What are intrapersonal boundaries?

A critical but often overlooked aspect of this work is intrapersonal boundaries or boundaries within self. We often think of boundaries in the context of being between people, but boundaries within self are just as important.

For example, how you might talk to yourself about engaging in a potentially harmful situation or leaving work at a normal time rather than overworking. Intrapersonal boundary work is especially important since we can’t change others, we can only change ourselves. You can begin to work on boundary issues by practicing out loud what it sounds like/ feels like to say “yes” and “no” in specific situations of your life.

I’ll share more about this in an upcoming post ; )

If you are struggling with this area, here are a few questions that might be helpful to consider:

• My ideal situation would be_____.
• I wish _____ was different about _______.
• What makes it tough to set a boundary when it comes to _______?
• How would it feel to have a more clear boundary in place as it relates to _______?
• What are my top priorities right now?
• What are three areas of struggle for me right now and how long has it felt this way?

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I often cringe when I hear: “finding a therapist is a lot like dating…” While it’s a unique relationship and does involve a level of fit, it is not like dating, and here’s why…

First, I’ll preface this post with the acknowledgment that yes, finding a therapist is a task and involves a process. And yes, it involves finding a “right fit,” but it’s not like finding a date or a partner. You’re not swiping left or right or trying to impress your potential therapist.

If you are seeking therapy, there is an important reason. Most likely, you are hurting or deeply dissatisfied in some critical way and you are seeking help to address these very important areas of concern.

With so many “helping/ healing practitioners” out there, you need to do your research on their educational and training background so you can be well-informed on what you can expect from the service and how it is designed to help you improve or move forward. Nowadays in the age of “influencers” and very costly social media ads, this is more important than ever. Do your research and take the time to become informed.

An important investment

You are not dating your therapist. You are paying your therapist for a highly specialized professional service that has legal and ethical standards in place. Your therapist possesses a license, advanced clinical skills/ knowledge, and several years of graduate and postgraduate training that allows them to deliver effective care to you.

They are trained to help you to make forward movement in your life toward a meaningful outcome. The therapeutic relationship is not a friendship nor should it ever feel like one. It is not a reciprocal relationship. While it can be a warm relationship and you will feel cared for, it is NEVER sexual! This is highly unethical due the nature of the therapeutic relationship.

What does “right fit” mean? 

There’s a lot of nuance to ‘fit’ in my experience. Here are my thoughts based on my work as a practicing therapist in NYC:

Experience

This is an important area, especially if you are getting ready to invest in high quality treatment. You do not want to waste your time or money. An experienced therapist will have likely worked in several settings over the years. They will have been exposed to many other medical and mental health professionals and will be able to offer you the benefit of their experience. In addition, an experienced therapist is often trained in different modalities and interventions so they will be able to integrate all that they know in helping you through the issues you are struggling with. This is crucial because providing effective therapy is both an art and a skill. If you are specifically interested in a private practice setting, be sure to read the bios carefully, as many practice owners employ less experienced therapists to work for them.

Training and skills

To become a therapist requires A LOT of training. An experienced therapist has spent many years training and developing their competence as an effective clinician. It is an intensive endeavor that requires a huge investment of time, money, effort, and energy in order to become a licensed and well-versed therapist.

A therapist has undergone rigorous and specialized training to be able to become licensed. For example, I myself completed my Master’s program at Syracuse University in 2011 (which included three clinical internship placements). After graduating, I worked for several years as an clinician in hospital and outpatient settings throughout CT. This allowed me to obtain the required clinical hours and supervision hours necessary to sit for the national exam in my field (marriage and family therapy).

From there, I worked at Columbia University Medical Center prior to opening my own practice in 2014. I have been operating a full-time private practice in New York City since then. Throughout this time, I continued to train. I have completed certificate programs at the Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy, the Gottman Institute, the New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy, and the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy.

My participation in several long-standing supervision groups here in NYC has been invaluable to my professional development. These advanced level training groups with highly experienced clinicians and renowned trainers have enabled me to offer the highest quality care to my clients.

When you pay for an experienced clinician, you are paying for their wealth of experience and their unique clinical knowledge. It goes way beyond simply “liking” your therapist.

You feel comfortable sharing things honestly with them

Again, you are not going to be friends, although you may feel a lot of warmth toward your therapist. And while they may experience warmth toward you too, it is not a reciprocal relationship. You don’t have to look the same or be into the same things in order for the therapeutic relationship to be effective. The therapeutic relationship is a one-sided, professional relationship. As a result, you don’t need to mesh with your therapist as if you are planning to date them. You just need to feel like they are competent to treat you in order to do your important work. This is critical to keep in mind as you sort through profiles that “catch your eye.” Since you are there for important reasons, make sure you are paying attention to the aspects of the therapist that really matter.

A well-trained therapist is skilled in working across differences and is experienced in helping individuals and couples of varying backgrounds. An advanced-level therapist of this sort has spent a significant amount of time in diverse professional circles over many years, so they will be able to navigate important conversations having to do with your experiences in a sensitive and well-informed way.

Scheduling a first session to get a feel…

The best way to assess fit with a potential therapist is by scheduling a session with them. In COVID times, that means virtually. So often, folks might want to try and assess fit over the phone, however, this isn’t the best approach. While you get to hear their voice, the purpose of the initial call is really for you and the therapist to talk briefly to gain a better understanding of the reasons that are bringing you in. If it seems to make sense to work together (the therapist treats those issues), you will schedule a first session so you can get a sense of what work might feel like with this particular therapist. If you are the type of prospective client who enjoys learning as much as you can first, I recommend checking out their website where you can read up on their specialties, training, and approach.

You can see yourself developing trust 

Trusting your therapist helps you to feel comfortable in the work. Feeling a sense of trust with your therapist will likely take some time to sense. How do you sense trust? You might feel trust when you perceive them to be a competent and boundaried clinician. Here are a few other things to notice about your therapist:

• returns your calls and emails in a timely manner
• helps you to receive your out of network reimbursement benefits
• takes the time and effort to collaborate with other providers who are also helping you
• follows up with you as necessary and is on time for your sessions each week

A good therapist will challenge you, and you’ll feel you are working toward important progress. If you are noticing these traits and interactions, that’s a very good sign.

I hope this post has been helpful as you begin to navigate your important journey. Therapy can be a life-changing experience with the right therapist so it’s important to invest in the right therapeutic relationship. In my practice, I offer both short-term therapy and more traditional weekly therapy services. I work with individuals and couples and I also facilitate groups.

Ready to get started on your unique healing journey? Let’s talk! 917. 708.7088.

The post Why Finding a Therapist is Not Like Dating… appeared first on Modern MFT.

I often think about this especially when it comes to relationships and how we relate and interact in relationships and how we experience closeness with others. For some, it is difficult to cultivate this consistently. There is often a tendency to look at how others impact us instead of how we impact others. I think we need to reverse this. This is not to say that how others treat us or interact with us isn’t important, (of course it is!), but in order to “do our part” we need to examine how we are contributing to the conversation and how we are entering an interaction. For example, we might be out in the world and maybe we are feeling rather small or insignificant in some ways –  how does this then translate into how we experience ourselves and others in relationship?

If we didn’t grow up in an environment where we felt validated and affirmed (or particularly important in terms of how we felt or what we had to say), it can be harder to trust and truly believe in our goodness or believe in our gifts – or to even identify what our gifts are. This is especially difficult if we are also part of a group that has a history of being oppressed or shut out or shut down in their everyday lives. This can make it incredibly difficult to cultivate a sense of “I matter” “how I show up – what I have to say, my feelings have a right to be heard, I matter, I count.” I think if we don’t cultivate that inside as we grow, we can go our whole lives feeling a sense of “without” or a sense that we are not important. This has grave consequences – relationally, culturally, and globally.

So where to start? In my work as a therapist, I am always conscious and interested in how I help a person to become more empowered in their own life. There is a process involved: assessment, history taking, understanding of what’s working, what’s not, etc. I like to work very organically with my clients meaning that if something comes up that we feel deserves more time and attention, we may stay there for a little while to explore and to heal. Foundational to where we go is understanding their values as an individual. Exploring what is truly important and why helps us to have clarity about how we decide to move through life. Congruence, meaning your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are in alignment. You don’t say “I’m fine” when you actually feel terrible. You don’t say you care about someone but your actions prove otherwise. You are in alignment. When we are congruent, we can move through life with greater intention and make decisions with courage and conviction. 

The post Cultivating Resilience, Self-Belief, and Identity appeared first on Modern MFT.

Therapy offers a tailored approach to your personal development and improvement, and it provides a safe space to address a variety of concerns that are preventing you from enjoying your life to the fullest.

As a therapist, I can tell you that many of my clients reach out because they are struggling with a major life transition, a painful relationship issue, career related concerns, or a family conflict. Other times, people reach out to improve their physical intimacy and the quality of their communication with their partners. Sometimes they come in to develop healthy coping skills and work on living in more alignment with their personal values.

Additionally, some people come in to work on wounds that were never properly cleaned or ‘disinfected’ so-to-speak, and so the work involves ‘removing the bandaid,’ tending to the damage, and re-bandaging the wound so that it can finally heal.

To help my clients, I first listen carefully not only to their personal stories and what brings them in, but also to the many different narratives that make up their unique identities.

I walk with people for little while, holding hope, strength, and the firm belief that things can improve…

I founded Modern Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC to expand my capacity to help others to live fuller, more enjoyable lives by addressing issues and patterns that are acting as barriers to real connection and personal fulfillment. My  approach is based on the belief that the therapy experience should feel safe, open, honest, and constructive. I help my clients take the necessary steps to make their lives and relationships more fulfilling, productive, and easier.

”We get together on the basis of our similarities, we grow on the basis of our differences.”

-Virginia Satir

The post Do I need therapy? Maybe. Probably. Don’t we all? appeared first on Modern MFT.

Compassionate self-talk approaches the issue with kindness and curiosity. Say you are trying to eat more nutritious foods and just in general to consume more mindfully when it comes to your nourishment. Perhaps it’s been somewhat of a struggle and you are finding it tough to make good choices and stay consistent. You are actively engaged in improving this area but you recently had a really bad day in terms of food choices and being mindful.

An example of harsh self-talk might sound like: 
“You always do this, when are you going to get it right?” “Why can’t you just get it together when it comes to your health?”

Compassionate self-talk sounds like:
“I know eating nutritious foods and being mindful of my consumption will help me to be at my best, but I’ve been off track lately. There must be reason. Maybe it’s because I’m upset about the recent argument I had with my sister this week and all of the stress I’ve been dealing with at work. Next time, when I feel the urge to deny myself of healthy nourishment, I’ll try to prevent it by looking at the motivation list I wrote in my journal to remind me why this is so important to me.”

Ways to Increase Compassion:

If this is really different from your typical self-talk, just try noticing what you say to yourself over this next week.

When you notice harsh self-talk…

Ask yourself:

“If I were really listening to my deepest needs, what would I say to myself?”
(adapted from Seeking Safety manual by Lisa Najavits)

• Try to explore the reasons underlying your behaviors
  • For example, if you didn’t follow through on a small promise to yourself, maybe it’s because you were in a lot of pain. If you blew a job interview, maybe it’s because you need more help and practice.
• Use kinder language
  • Find a more gentle way of talking to yourself. For example: “I’ll never be able to change” is harsh, while “Change is a process and I have been engaging in my own healing journey and personal development” is kinder.
• Imagine that you are talking to a young child who has made a mistake
  • How would you talk to the child with compassion? For example, you might say: “It’s okay. We all make mistakes sometimes. You’re a good person and you can keep figuring it out.”
• Experiment with compassion
  • Even if just for a few minutes. If it feels very difficult, you might try thought stopping as a first step: Say “stop thinking that!” loudly to yourself to break the cycle of harsh self-talk. Then try compassion.
• Try practicing! In the following situations, how could you talk to yourself more compassionately?
  • You just got ghosted after going out with someone you really liked.
  • You had a bad argument in an important relationship and you’re feeling really angry.
  • You feel like coping in unhealthy ways because you feel lonely.
  • Your best friend gave you some tough but honest feedback that felt hard to hear.

Start small and see how it goes.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” -Buddha

Thinking about starting therapy? I’d love to help with that! Contact me for a free 15-minute consultation at 917.708.7088

Warmly,

Jennifer

The post How to Increase Self-Compassion + Why it Matters… appeared first on Modern MFT.

The MAP 90-minute consult for couples provides a safe space to explore relationship concerns without the pressure to commit to ongoing weekly therapy as partners. I have found in my years of working with couples that sometimes a psychoeducational consultation is exactly what is needed.

Improving Communication With a Partner

“Communication issues” is the top reason couples seek help in my practice. Through my training and extensive experience, communication can be greatly improved once we know where the issue(s) stems from. What gets complicated is that each partner has their own subjective experience. If that experience is not understood and respected, difficulties arise.

I provide my clients with a much needed safe space and the tailored guidance to address these issues with the goal of creating a different experience in our session. Once we understand the cycle, partners can begin to develop the awareness and know-how to carry it into home life once our session is completed. So often, partners do not dedicate the time necessary to cultivate meaningful change. The MAP 90-minute consultation provides a blueprint for what this work can look like so you leave with a better sense for how to improve the feeling of being understood and listened to in your relationship.

The Right Support Matters

Communication involves an understanding of the issues and a sense of what the problem is from the other person’s perspective. It requires listening but also the ability to calm yourself so that important messages can be received. In my session, we review this together and have the opportunity to practice several activities designed to strengthen each partner’s ability to improve this necessary area.

If partners have never been in therapy before, we may spend some time talking about family-of-origin and helping each person to gain a deeper understanding of each other and how each individual came to be the person they are today. We will review concepts of compromise, how to self-soothe, how to soothe and comfort each other in ways that really work, and we will also cover how to reduce stress and improve connection using a unique tool that you can practice each week at home. This therapy consult provides you with a comforting and encouraging space to learn and grow and gain tools that you can use in life and in your most valued relationships.

Enhancing Intimacy in Relationships 

Often, we are faced with what seems like an endless stream of responsibilities and obligations that it can feel like there is just not enough time to cultivate a strong sense of intimacy—with our partner or with others. It’s easy to try and go it alone, to withstand the pressures and struggles without a sense of closeness or support–but doing so is usually not sustainable for very long. According to therapist/ author Patricia Love, intimacy is a curious phenomenon in that most couples profess to want more of it, but few people can define what it is. She defines intimacy as communicating on a personal level.

Intimacy helps us to feel connected and understood. We must be careful not to confuse significant knowledge with a strong sense of intimacy. It’s possible to know a lot about your partner and lack a sense of intimacy. Rather, intimacy involves more of a meaningful sharing and responsiveness between partners.

This powerful experience in relationship has the capacity to make us feel valued, cared for, and loved. As a therapist who helps people to enhance the quality of their relationships, I have seen many people improve their ability to experience greater intimacy in their lives through consistent effort and increased self-awareness. To start, it is helpful to create your own definition so you can begin to build awareness of your own needs when it comes to intimacy. In our consultation, you can expect that you will improve your intimacy by learning to:

• Give each other your full attention
• Listen carefully for meaning
• Validate each other’s reality

The second point is key here because so often we can become easily caught up in content and fail to truly understand the meaning of what is being shared. Our tailored 90-minute session will help you get to the essence and meaning  – so you can experience each other with a new perspective. To begin your personal development journey, here are a few key questions to consider when thinking about improving intimacy in your life:

• What’s important about intimacy to me?
• How comfortable am I in communicating my emotional wants and dislikes?
• How do I tend to handle conflict in my relationships?
• What’s one area I’d like to improve when it comes to my emotional responsiveness in relationships?
• When do I feel most connected or fulfilled in my significant relationship(s)? Was there a particular situation that brought that feeling out this week? What contributed to my feelings of intimacy at that time?

Intimacy, along with trust, desire, communication, and affection create a strong foundation for high quality relationships to flourish. The best part is– is that all of these areas can be further developed and improved!

Coping with Major Life Transitions

Major life transitions can be super stressful. When we are struggling or feeling overwhelmed or going through a tough time, we are not at our best. Our fuse is short, we lack patience, and we might struggle to get the needed response and support from our partner. This can change with the help of an experienced and licensed therapist who knows how to help you make the shifts that create the desired result. We work together to help you experience relief so that you can stay strong and adaptable in your relationship and deepen the skills needed to move through the tough times. Perhaps you recently became parents, or maybe you decided to move in together, maybe you are going through changes in life that have greatly influenced how you experience the relationship as a whole; whatever you are going through that has caused tension or discomfort can be explored in the MAP for couples. I look forward to the opportunity to help you feel closer and more connected in your relationship!

Warmly,

Jennifer

The post What is the Modern Accelerated Program (MAP 90-minute consultation) and How Can it Help? appeared first on Modern MFT.