<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>Trauma Archives | Modern MFT</title>
	<atom:link href="https://www.modernmft.com/category/trauma/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>https://www.modernmft.com/category/trauma/</link>
	<description>Psychotherapy in NYC</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Wed, 04 Mar 2026 22:41:38 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>
	hourly	</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>
	1	</sy:updateFrequency>
	<generator>https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.3</generator>

<image>
	<url>https://www.modernmft.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/cropped-small-logo-ican-new-32x32.png</url>
	<title>Trauma Archives | Modern MFT</title>
	<link>https://www.modernmft.com/category/trauma/</link>
	<width>32</width>
	<height>32</height>
</image> 
	<item>
		<title>When Holding It All Together Isn’t Enough: Finding Yourself Again After a Season of Survival</title>
		<link>https://www.modernmft.com/when-holding-it-all-together-isnt-enough-finding-yourself-again-after-a-season-of-survival/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jennifer Uhrlass]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Mar 2026 22:37:51 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Desire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotional Pressures]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Intimacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mood + Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nurturing Hope + Resilience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex + Affection]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trauma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-trust]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.modernmft.com/?p=6695</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/when-holding-it-all-together-isnt-enough-finding-yourself-again-after-a-season-of-survival/">When Holding It All Together Isn’t Enough: Finding Yourself Again After a Season of Survival</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="wpb-content-wrapper"><div class="vc_row wpb_row vc_row-fluid"><div class="wpb_column vc_column_container vc_col-sm-12"><div class="vc_column-inner"><div class="wpb_wrapper">
	<div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element" >
		<div class="wpb_wrapper">
			<p data-start="265" data-end="294">You’ve done everything right.</p>
<p data-start="296" data-end="509">You’ve kept your head down. You pushed through the hard days. You carried on—showing up for your work, your responsibilities, your relationships—without asking for much. You didn’t fall apart. You made it through.</p>
<p data-start="511" data-end="591">But now, something in you is whispering: <em data-start="552" data-end="591">I need more than just surviving this.</em></p>
<p data-start="593" data-end="645">That whisper is important. And it’s why you’re here.</p>
<p data-start="593" data-end="645"><span id="more-6695"></span></p>
<p data-start="647" data-end="1031">Maybe the last year brought unexpected transitions—changes you had no choice but to navigate. Maybe grief or loss shifted your center. Maybe demands mounted and you barely had space to feel any of it. You stayed in motion because you had to. But now that the dust is starting to settle, the truth is surfacing: you’re tired, emotionally heavy, and yearning for a steadier way forward.</p>
<p data-start="1033" data-end="1161">And beneath that? You want to come back to yourself. To your joy. To your capacity to <em data-start="1119" data-end="1125">feel</em> your life again—not just manage it.</p>
<p data-start="1163" data-end="1181">You are not alone.</p>
<h3 data-start="1183" data-end="1234">It’s Okay to Be the One Who Needs Something Now</h3>
<p data-start="1236" data-end="1424">So many high-functioning, deeply capable women come to therapy at this very juncture—after seasons of doing what had to be done, of being strong, of carrying the emotional load for others.</p>
<p data-start="1426" data-end="1449">But now it’s your turn.</p>
<p data-start="1451" data-end="1790">Therapy isn’t just for when things are falling apart. It’s for when you want to stop <em data-start="1536" data-end="1558">living like you are.</em>  It’s for when you know you’ve been holding your breath for too long. It’s for when you realize that even if you’ve “gotten through it,” you’re still carrying it—inside your body, your nervous system, your sleep, your relationships.</p>
<p data-start="1792" data-end="1960">And it’s for when the very tools that helped you survive—work ethic, mental toughness, task-mastery—are now getting in the way of deeper connection, rest, and intimacy.</p>
<h3 data-start="1962" data-end="2000">The Hurt Doesn’t Go Away by Itself</h3>
<p data-start="2002" data-end="2236">Part of you knows: the hurt doesn’t just fade with time. It morphs. It settles into your daily life. It shows up in irritability, in numbness, in avoidance, in the way you rush through your days without remembering how they even felt.</p>
<p data-start="2238" data-end="2496">Left unprocessed, hurt can make your life feel flat—even when good things are happening. It can impact how present you are with your partner. It can mute your desire to be touched or cared for. It can make your body feel like a battlefield instead of a home.</p>
<p data-start="2498" data-end="2599">You’re not “broken.” You’re just still healing from things you were too busy surviving to fully feel.</p>
<p data-start="2601" data-end="2772">Therapy creates the space for that. For <em data-start="2641" data-end="2646">you</em>. Not to wallow—but to metabolize what you’ve been carrying. To clear space for something softer, more connected, more rooted.</p>
<h3 data-start="2774" data-end="2809">You Deserve to Feel Close Again</h3>
<p data-start="2811" data-end="2941">Even with a loving partner, it might feel hard to slow down, to enjoy intimacy, to <em data-start="2928" data-end="2934">feel</em> close.That makes perfect sense. When we’re in survival mode, emotional presence gets replaced by logistics: “What needs to get done?” “What’s the next thing on the list?” Intimacy, spontaneity, and even joy feel like distant luxuries. We become task managers instead of partners. And without meaning to, we begin to drift.</p>
<p data-start="3262" data-end="3306">This isn’t about blame. It’s about capacity.</p>
<p data-start="3308" data-end="3420">When your system is in overdrive, there’s little left for connection. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be rebuilt.</p>
<p data-start="3422" data-end="3457">In therapy, we’ll work together to:</p>
<ul>
<li data-start="3461" data-end="3605"><strong data-start="3461" data-end="3500">Understand what you’ve been through</strong>—not just intellectually, but emotionally and somatically (in your body), so you can begin to release it.</li>
<li data-start="3461" data-end="3605"><strong data-start="3608" data-end="3650">Reclaim a sense of emotional stability</strong>—so your nervous system feels less flooded, and you’re not always waiting for the next thing to go wrong.</li>
<li data-start="3461" data-end="3605"><strong data-start="3758" data-end="3793">Reconnect with your inner world</strong>—your desires, longings, and limits—so you can make choices that align with <em data-start="3869" data-end="3874">you</em>, not just your to-do list.</li>
<li data-start="3461" data-end="3605"><strong data-start="3904" data-end="3942">Explore your relationship dynamics</strong>—why it’s been hard to stay present or intimate, and how to gently move toward more closeness, communication, and softness.</li>
<li data-start="3461" data-end="3605"><strong data-start="4068" data-end="4093">Learn real-time tools</strong> to help you slow down, regulate, and come back to yourself in the moments that matter most.</li>
</ul>
<p data-start="4187" data-end="4346">This isn’t about becoming a “better” partner or doing more—it’s about becoming more available to the love, rest, and connection that already wants to meet you.</p>
<h3 data-start="4348" data-end="4395">Stability Doesn’t Come From Hustling Harder</h3>
<p data-start="4397" data-end="4616">You’re seeking stability—not the false kind that comes from control or doing everything “right,” but the kind that lives inside you. The groundedness that says: <em data-start="4558" data-end="4616">I can meet this moment, and I can care for myself in it.</em></p>
<p data-start="4618" data-end="4812">True emotional stability comes from knowing how to listen to your own needs, how to respond to your anxiety with compassion, how to move through discomfort without abandoning yourself or others.</p>
<p data-start="4814" data-end="4871">This work is personal. It’s sacred. And it’s yours to do.</p>
<p data-start="4873" data-end="5111">You don’t need to wait until you “have more time,” or until things settle even more. The truth is, life may always be a little busy, a little unpredictable. But you can learn to navigate that busyness with more peace, presence, and grace.</p>
<h3 data-start="5113" data-end="5159">Therapy Is Where You Come Back to Yourself</h3>
<p data-start="5161" data-end="5383">You already have the courage—<strong data-start="5190" data-end="5217">you’ve made it this far</strong>. You’ve handled life. You’ve kept it all afloat. Now, the work is to re-orient. To soften. To begin tending to the inner world you’ve had to ignore for far too long.</p>
<p data-start="5385" data-end="5479">This is your invitation to make space for you again—not as an afterthought, but as a priority.</p>
<p data-start="5481" data-end="5523">And if you&#8217;re ready, therapy can help you:</p>
<ul>
<li data-start="5527" data-end="5558">Feel more emotionally grounded.</li>
<li data-start="5527" data-end="5558">Restore joy and connection in your relationship.</li>
<li data-start="5527" data-end="5558">Rebuild self-trust and clarity after a period of survival.</li>
<li data-start="5527" data-end="5558">Shift out of over-functioning and into balance.</li>
<li data-start="5527" data-end="5558">Begin feeling like yourself again—only more empowered, more whole, more present.</li>
</ul>
<p data-start="5805" data-end="5815">It’s time.</p>
<p data-start="5817" data-end="5829">Let’s begin.</p>
<p data-start="5836" data-end="6002" data-is-last-node="" data-is-only-node=""><em data-start="5836" data-end="6002" data-is-last-node="">If you’re ready to explore this next chapter with the support of an experienced, thoughtful therapist, reach out today. You don’t have to hold it all alone anymore.</em></p>

		</div>
	</div>
</div></div></div></div>
</div><p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/when-holding-it-all-together-isnt-enough-finding-yourself-again-after-a-season-of-survival/">When Holding It All Together Isn’t Enough: Finding Yourself Again After a Season of Survival</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Therapy for Adult Sibling Relationships&#8230;</title>
		<link>https://www.modernmft.com/therapy-for-adult-sibling-relationships/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jennifer Uhrlass]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 01 Mar 2026 20:25:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication/ Conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family-of-Origin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nurturing Hope + Resilience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Process of Therapy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Transition to Parenthood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trauma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family of origin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family therapy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sibling therapy]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.modernmft.com/?p=6648</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/therapy-for-adult-sibling-relationships/">Therapy for Adult Sibling Relationships&#8230;</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="wpb-content-wrapper"><div class="vc_row wpb_row vc_row-fluid"><div class="wpb_column vc_column_container vc_col-sm-12"><div class="vc_column-inner"><div class="wpb_wrapper">
	<div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element" >
		<div class="wpb_wrapper">
			<h3 data-start="4039" data-end="4120"><strong data-start="4043" data-end="4120">Why Adult Sibling Relationships Can Feel So Hard—and How Therapy Can Help</strong></h3>
<p data-start="4122" data-end="4337">Many adults come to therapy feeling confused about how deeply their sibling relationships still affect them. They may say things like, <em data-start="4257" data-end="4303">“We’re adults now—why does this still hurt?”</em> or <em data-start="4307" data-end="4337">“I thought I was past this.”</em></p>
<p data-start="4339" data-end="4542">The truth is, sibling relationships are rarely just about the present moment. They are layered with history, roles, expectations, and emotional memories that formed long before we had language or choice.</p>
<p data-start="4339" data-end="4542"><span id="more-6648"></span></p>
<h4 data-start="4544" data-end="4585">The Invisible Weight of Family Roles</h4>
<p data-start="4587" data-end="4885">Growing up, most of us unconsciously adapted to our family system. You might have become the responsible one, the caretaker, the achiever, the mediator, or the one who stayed quiet to keep the peace. These roles often helped the family function—but they also shaped how you learned to see yourself.</p>
<p data-start="4887" data-end="5080">In adulthood, these patterns can quietly persist. You may notice yourself feeling small, reactive, guilty, or unseen around siblings—even if you’re confident and capable elsewhere in your life.</p>
<h4 data-start="5082" data-end="5130">Why Adult Transitions Reignite Old Dynamics</h4>
<p data-start="5132" data-end="5433">Sibling tensions often intensify during major life transitions: caring for aging parents, dividing responsibilities, navigating grief, or becoming parents ourselves. These moments activate early attachment wounds and can make long-standing inequalities or emotional injuries feel impossible to ignore.</p>
<p data-start="5435" data-end="5581">Strong emotions—anger, sadness, jealousy, grief—are not signs of immaturity. They are signals that something meaningful was never fully processed.</p>
<h4 data-start="5583" data-end="5628">When Distance Feels Safer Than Closeness</h4>
<p data-start="5630" data-end="5818">Some adults cope by pulling away from siblings altogether. Others stay involved but feel chronically resentful or depleted. Both responses are understandable adaptations to emotional pain.</p>
<p data-start="5820" data-end="5873">Therapy helps you slow down and ask deeper questions:</p>
<ul>
<li data-start="5876" data-end="5924">What did I need back then that I didn’t receive?</li>
<li data-start="5876" data-end="5924">How did my role in my family shape my sense of worth?</li>
<li data-start="5876" data-end="5924">What am I still hoping for—and is it realistic?</li>
<li data-start="5876" data-end="5924">What kind of relationship do I want now?</li>
</ul>
<h4 data-start="6075" data-end="6106">How Therapy Creates Change</h4>
<p data-start="6108" data-end="6318"><a href="https://www.modernmft.com/services/family-counseling/adult-siblings/">Sibling-focused therapy</a> provides a space to explore these questions without judgment. It helps you understand how family systems shaped your emotional responses and gives you tools to respond differently today.</p>
<p data-start="6320" data-end="6352">Over time, therapy can help you:</p>
<ul>
<li data-start="6355" data-end="6384">Reduce emotional reactivity</li>
<li data-start="6355" data-end="6384">Set boundaries without overwhelming guilt</li>
<li data-start="6355" data-end="6384">Honor grief and anger without shame</li>
<li data-start="6355" data-end="6384">Build self-trust and clarity</li>
<li data-start="6355" data-end="6384">Decide how much closeness feels healthy</li>
</ul>
<p data-start="6549" data-end="6666">For some, healing means repair and reconnection. For others, it means acceptance and peace. Both are forms of growth.</p>
<h4 data-start="6668" data-end="6705">You’re Allowed to Want More Ease</h4>
<p data-start="6707" data-end="6863">Struggling with sibling relationships doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re human—and shaped by a system that asked you to adapt early.</p>
<p data-start="6865" data-end="6983">With the right support, it’s possible to loosen old patterns and relate from a place of choice rather than obligation.</p>
<p data-start="6985" data-end="7146">If sibling dynamics continue to weigh on you, therapy can help you create more space, clarity, and emotional freedom—both within your family and within yourself.</p>

		</div>
	</div>
</div></div></div></div>
</div><p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/therapy-for-adult-sibling-relationships/">Therapy for Adult Sibling Relationships&#8230;</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Returning to Therapy: Finding Steady Ground Amidst Change, Uncertainty, and Hope</title>
		<link>https://www.modernmft.com/returning-to-therapy-finding-steady-ground-amidst-change-uncertainty-and-hope/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jennifer Uhrlass]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 05 Aug 2025 00:17:53 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication/ Conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Intimacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nurturing Hope + Resilience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Process of Therapy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trauma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Coping Skills]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overwhelm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sadness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stress]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.modernmft.com/?p=6003</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/returning-to-therapy-finding-steady-ground-amidst-change-uncertainty-and-hope/">Returning to Therapy: Finding Steady Ground Amidst Change, Uncertainty, and Hope</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="wpb-content-wrapper"><div class="vc_row wpb_row vc_row-fluid"><div class="wpb_column vc_column_container vc_col-sm-12"><div class="vc_column-inner"><div class="wpb_wrapper">
	<div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element" >
		<div class="wpb_wrapper">
			<p data-start="288" data-end="542">Sometimes, life hands us more than one major transition at once. A new medical diagnosis. The emotional complexity of trying to conceive. An ever-present undercurrent of anxiety or uncertainty. And even in the midst of love and support, you can find yourself wondering:</p>
<p data-start="544" data-end="598"><strong data-start="544" data-end="598">How do I hold all of this? How do I stay grounded?</strong></p>
<p data-start="544" data-end="598"><span id="more-6003"></span></p>
<p data-start="600" data-end="979">If you’re here, it’s because something inside you knows: it’s time to return to therapy. Not because you’re falling apart—but because you’re ready to care for yourself in a deeper, more intentional way. You’ve done this work before. You know how powerful it can be. And now, in this new chapter, you’re seeking steady support as you move through it all—gracefully, but not alone.</p>
<h3 data-start="981" data-end="1030">You Are Carrying A Lot (And That Makes Sense)</h3>
<p data-start="1032" data-end="1356">Getting a new medical diagnosis can tilt your world off center—even when it&#8217;s manageable, even when you’re doing “all the right things.” It can bring up fear, <a href="https://open.spotify.com/episode/1VYL7Zd4sFBluOjbaXnsTq">grief</a>, confusion, questions about what the future holds. Layer on the emotional process of trying to conceive—and it’s no wonder that anxiety has been louder lately.</p>
<p data-start="1358" data-end="1656">Let’s name what’s true: you’re navigating a swirl of hope and fear, of timelines and what-ifs, of medical appointments and emotional weight. You’re holding space for your body’s changing needs, your emotional waves, and your desire to stay open and connected to your partner in the midst of it all.</p>
<p data-start="1658" data-end="1692">Of course this feels overwhelming.</p>
<p data-start="1694" data-end="1880">You are doing your best to remain calm and present—but the anxiety? It creeps in. It fills the in-between moments. And when you’re already stretched thin, even small things can feel big.</p>
<p data-start="1882" data-end="1935">This isn’t about weakness. This is about being human.</p>
<h3 data-start="1937" data-end="2002">Returning to Therapy Isn’t a Step Back — It’s a Step Inward</h3>
<p data-start="2004" data-end="2165">Therapy isn’t just something we use when we’re in crisis. It’s a tool for returning to ourselves—especially in seasons where everything feels like it’s shifting.</p>
<p data-start="2167" data-end="2521">You’ve been here before. You know the kind of relief and insight it can bring. And now, you’re wiser. You’re more ready than ever to approach therapy with clarity about what you want to get from it: <strong data-start="2390" data-end="2521">stability, resilience, and a better way to manage the anxious moments that are taking up too much space in your head and heart.</strong></p>
<p data-start="2523" data-end="2782">You’re not looking for a magic fix. You’re looking for real tools. Emotional grounding. A space to process what’s happening medically, relationally, physically. You want to stay connected to yourself and your partner. You want to stay open, hopeful—and whole.</p>
<p data-start="2784" data-end="2822">That’s what therapy can offer you now.</p>
<h3 data-start="2824" data-end="2874">Your Relationship Is A Strength—and a Priority</h3>
<p data-start="2876" data-end="3124">Going through major transitions that require intense personal strength can challenge even the strongest relationships. A partner who listens, who shows up, who wants to support you through everything. That foundation matters. And it’s worth nurturing—especially in times of stress and uncertainty. Therapy helps to provide clarity, emotional support, and a space to process personal needs so that the relationship doesn&#8217;t suffer.</p>
<p data-start="3126" data-end="3293">You may have noticed something important: that while your partner is incredibly supportive, he sometimes holds back what’s going on inside of him. And that matters too.</p>
<p data-start="3295" data-end="3533">Wanting to be there for him as much as he’s been there for you is not just generous—it’s wise. Because relationships thrive when both people feel seen, heard, and emotionally supported. Especially during seasons of uncertainty and stress.</p>
<p data-start="3535" data-end="3563">Returning to therapy can help you to:</p>
<ul>
<li data-start="3567" data-end="3642">Stay attuned to your own emotional needs without shutting your partner out.</li>
<li data-start="3567" data-end="3642">Develop ways of inviting your partner into gentle, open conversations—even about the hard stuff.</li>
<li data-start="3567" data-end="3642">Explore how to better listen and emotionally engage with <em data-start="3801" data-end="3806">his</em> experience, while not losing yourself in the process.</li>
<li data-start="3567" data-end="3642">Keep your connection strong, even as you both navigate the emotional demands of this season.</li>
</ul>
<p data-start="3957" data-end="4096">This is <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/relational-health-and-emotional-wellbeing/202502/six-common-fears-about-starting-relationship">relationship work</a> through the lens of <em data-start="4003" data-end="4009">your</em> <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/services/individual-therapy/">individual therapy</a>. It’s subtle but powerful—and you’re more than capable of doing it.</p>
<h3 data-start="4098" data-end="4133">Navigating Anxiety in Real Time</h3>
<p data-start="4135" data-end="4521">The anxious moments you’re feeling now are likely very different from the ones you’ve experienced before. They may come out of nowhere—during a doctor’s visit, in the middle of a workday, late at night when your thoughts are racing. They may be tied to uncertainty about health, fertility, the future. Or they may simply be your body’s way of trying to make sense of all the “unknowns.”</p>
<p data-start="4523" data-end="4669">In therapy, we’ll create space for those moments—not to get stuck in them, but to understand what they’re trying to tell you. You’ll learn how to:</p>
<ul>
<li data-start="4673" data-end="4722">Recognize the early signals of anxious overwhelm.</li>
<li data-start="4673" data-end="4722">Stay with the feeling, instead of fighting it or running from it.</li>
<li data-start="4673" data-end="4722">Use grounding tools and nervous system regulation techniques to return to the present moment.</li>
<li data-start="4673" data-end="4722">Understand how your anxiety shows up in your body, your thoughts, and your patterns—and learn how to disrupt that loop with kindness and clarity.</li>
</ul>
<p data-start="5036" data-end="5130">This is work you don’t have to do alone. And you don’t have to wait until it feels unbearable.</p>
<h3 data-start="5132" data-end="5172">You Deserve Support <em data-start="5156" data-end="5161">Now</em>, Not Later</h3>
<p data-start="5174" data-end="5343">You’ve already made it through so much. You’ve shown up. You’ve stayed strong. But now it’s time to also be soft. To be supported. To stop pushing through without pause.</p>
<p data-start="5345" data-end="5549">Therapy gives you room to <em data-start="5371" data-end="5380">breathe&#8211;t</em>o feel, to clarify, to plan with peace instead of panic. To slow down without losing momentum. And to reconnect—to yourself, your body, your desires, and your future.</p>
<p data-start="5551" data-end="5763">Whether or not this season unfolds the way you hope, you deserve to move through it with steadiness, with dignity, and with the presence of someone in your corner—someone who’s there to hold space just for <em data-start="5757" data-end="5762">you</em>.</p>
<p data-start="5765" data-end="5791">You’re ready. Let’s begin.</p>
<p data-start="5798" data-end="5987" data-is-last-node="" data-is-only-node=""><em data-start="5798" data-end="5987" data-is-last-node="">If this feels like your next right step, <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/contact-nyc-psychotherapist/">reach out</a> today. Therapy can be a powerful companion on your path toward more clarity, calm, and connection—even in life’s most uncertain seasons.</em></p>

		</div>
	</div>
</div></div></div></div>
</div><p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/returning-to-therapy-finding-steady-ground-amidst-change-uncertainty-and-hope/">Returning to Therapy: Finding Steady Ground Amidst Change, Uncertainty, and Hope</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Important Considerations Before Starting Therapy&#8230;</title>
		<link>https://www.modernmft.com/important-considerations-before-starting-therapy/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jennifer Uhrlass]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Jan 2025 22:57:52 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication/ Conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotional Pressures]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family-of-Origin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Process of Therapy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex + Affection]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Transition to Parenthood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trauma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.modernmft.com/?p=4683</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/important-considerations-before-starting-therapy/">Important Considerations Before Starting Therapy&#8230;</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="wpb-content-wrapper"><div class="vc_row wpb_row vc_row-fluid"><div class="wpb_column vc_column_container vc_col-sm-12"><div class="vc_column-inner"><div class="wpb_wrapper">
	<div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element" >
		<div class="wpb_wrapper">
			<h1 class="p1"><span class="s1"><b>Considerations For Getting Started in Therapy </b></span></h1>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Many folks might be curious about starting therapy but struggle to know how to select a therapist or even how to consider therapy services. If you do not work in the healthcare field yourself or are new to the idea of investing in therapy, you may be very unfamiliar with how it all works.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">This post aims to help people become more familiar with the current landscape of therapy so that you can make informed choices about your care.</span></p>
<p><span id="more-4683"></span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Therapy can be life-changing with the right therapist, but it’s also an important investment of your time, energy, and money so it’s wise to be very selective when choosing a therapist. </span></p>
<h3 class="p1"><span class="s1"><b>The decision to start therapy…</b></span></h3>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Sometimes people start therapy and have a very clear reason for seeking it out and other times, they know something feels off but need some help clarifying their goals and taking meaningful and effective action.</span></p>
<h3>Issues I treat/  My approach&#8230;</h3>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">In my practice, I help people improve the quality of their intimate relationships and their overall emotional well-being. I work equally with individuals and partners, and I enjoy working with folks from all walks of life. My extensive and culturally informed training has allowed me to work effectively with folks across differences. <strong>I strive to create a sense of safety, trust, and comfort for my LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC clients.</strong> I also work with interracial and interfaith couples as well as expats. I deeply enjoy and value working across difference and consider myself a lifelong learner. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">One my most meaningful professional experiences thus far has been participating as a post graduate student at the Ackerman Institute for the Family here in NYC. Through scholarship, I was able to spend a full postgraduate year studying the art and skill of therapy alongside thoughtful, deeply dedicated, and curious peers and educators. During this time, we shared cases together, consulted as a team, and even participated in the extracurricular <strong>Talk Race</strong> group, where we <strong>unpacked our own intersectional identities</strong> more deeply with regard to <strong>our intention vs. impact out in the world</strong>. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">I believe these unique, in-depth, and long-term training opportunities have allowed me to be the most effective, curious, and informed therapist I can be.<strong> I deeply value curiosity&#8211;both personally and professionally. </strong></span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Individuals may be struggling with relational challenges, family of origin issues/ trauma (in the form of abuse or neglect), dating/sex, cultivating satisfying connection, and the stress of navigating major life transitions in general.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">I often work with partners who are looking to improve their communication, cultivate a more optimal erotic intimacy, or move through the major shift of transition to parenthood. In these sessions, we dive into how to keep their relationship strong through this major life transition. We unpack communication issues, sex/ affection issues, destructive interactional patterns, outside relationships, repair after arguments, and in general &#8212; how to nurture a satisfying relationship over the long-term.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Ultimately, I help folks overcome significant barriers and move through individual blocks by providing a personalized approach based on research and my extensive clinical experience. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Therapy can help you to recognize your interpersonal patterns and understand where you might be struggling so that you’re better equipped to handle life’s diverse challenges. The therapist can collaborate with you in a really personalized way to help you to be more effective. It is this tailored approach and the unique therapeutic relationship that you share with your therapist that makes therapy such a special, effective, and worthwhile endeavor. </span></p>
<blockquote>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Whether you are struggling with some form of self-sabotage, or feelings of loneliness or you are having difficulty in your interpersonal relationships— therapy can be a great way to begin addressing the barriers so that you can ultimately enjoy life more fully, cultivate more meaningful relationships, and experience more pleasure, joy, and satisfaction on a regular basis. </span></p>
</blockquote>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Familiarize yourself with the idea that it is a worthwhile investment of your resources.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1"><b>Therapy is likely not going to feel convenient—in any way—although it might feel like just the thing you really need, it probably won’t be convenient for you.</b> </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">It’s the kind of thing where you have to make time for it and really put in the effort to see the results. <b>However, therapy with the right therapist can truly be life-changing. </b></span></p>
<h2 class="p1"><span class="s1"><b><i>Tip #1: Understand the present landscape of therapy…</i></b></span></h2>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Familiarize yourself with the landscape of therapy so you are informed about what’s available to you and what kind of therapist might be the best fit for you. Most therapists are trained fairly well to handle the common reasons people might come in—anxiety, depression, stress, and relationships, etc. But, based on their professional training, they might take VERY different approaches and that approach can make all the difference. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">In addition, level of experience can play a huge role in the quality of your experience. While experience is optimal here, if you are on a very tight financial budget, don&#8217;t shy away from asking about sliding scale rates. Often, therapists do reserve some spots in their practice for such circumstances. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1"><strong>It can also be helpful to view therapy as a time-limited investment and not this ongoing expense that never ends.</strong> This can help you contextualize the value of the service. Ideally, you will want to pursue therapy with an experienced and fully licensed clinician who has the skills, knowledge, and experience to help you in an effective and timely manner.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">The therapeutic relationship is a very unique one with legal and ethical standards in place. In my practice, I personally provide a four-session diagnostic assessment for partners and a three session assessment for individuals. This approach ensures a quality fit between client and therapist so that we create the right conditions for the work ahead. I believe this is the best way to provide the most appropriate value to clients at this beginning stage.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1"><strong>In completing the assessment period, we gain clarity over what&#8217;s happening and what&#8217;s bringing you and/or you and your partner in and it also serves to help you assess whether I&#8217;m the right fit in a meaningful and in-depth way. </strong></span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">From there, once we&#8217;ve reviewed the findings together and determined a possible course of treatment, I will let you know if I&#8217;m not the best therapist for you and will provide thoughtful referrals in this case. If we agree to proceed together, we&#8217;ll sort out a schedule based on defined treatment goals. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1"><strong>While it’s tempting to think you can assess fit over the phone, it’s not the best approach&#8211;it&#8217;s simply not possible to gain a meaningful sense of therapeutic fit in a brief phone conversation that is focused on logistics of care: i.e.- scheduling, fees, and availability.</strong> In my experience, you have to schedule sessions to really see if it’s the best fit. That way, you can get a sense of the therapist’s style, personality, and approach to the work. You can also get a better sense of if you can see yourself building trust with this person. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1"><b><i>Looking at fees…</i></b></span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Let’s briefly touch on fees. In general, experienced and highly trained therapists who are fully licensed and have been practicing independently (not requiring supervision) for at least 6/7 years, will not take insurance and will most likely have higher fees. In NYC, that is generally over $275 per session. </span><span class="s1">However, if you have health insurance with out of network benefits, many insurances will likely reimburse you for a large percentage of the fee. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">So for example, if the therapist charges $300 per session and your insurance covers 50% of the fee, you would receive $150 of the fee back in the form of a check from your insurance company. Sometimes, your plan may cover even more, so it&#8217;s worth checking out! In my practice, I&#8217;m happy to help you check your benefits ahead of time so you have a clear sense of what&#8217;s covered.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1"> I have seen some plans cover up to 80% of the fee, so it’s definitely worth checking out. Many therapists also provide a sliding scale fee structure, so it can be helpful to ask about this during your initial call. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Do some research and find out what your particular insurance plan covers. I recommend doing this as soon as you have decided to seek treatment. That way, your initial calls to therapists are more productive. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">You can say to your insurance company that you’d like to see ____<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>provider because they specialize in _____ *insert specific issues that you are struggling with; &#8220;they have a unique background and training in this area so I feel they will be able to help me best.&#8221; You can also mention that you are looking to go to a provider who is experienced. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Therapy can be extremely helpful if you are looking to improve your relationship to self and others. If you’ve always found your family to be a source of stress/ frustration and there have been troubling experiences in your family of origin while you were growing up, you may find a licensed marriage and family therapist is a nice choice since they will be well-versed in family and relationship dynamics and how to improve them.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Licensed MFTs will be familiar with how to best approach these issues and help you function at your best in all relationships—work, friendships, intimate partners, and of course, relationship to self.</span></p>
<h2 class="p1"><span class="s1"><b><i>Tip #2 Sort through the different types of trained professionals…</i></b></span></h2>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Some terms to help you sort through the options: </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1"><i>Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist &#8211; L</i>MFTs are trained to provide high quality therapy and work with individuals, couples, and whole families, so they have a breadth and depth approach to the work. MFTs take a contextual approach to the work so they will be able to take a look at many factors that might be influencing your presenting concerns. Rather than place you into a diagnostic toolbox, they will take a holistic approach to your care. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1"><i>Psychiatrists </i>&#8211; are medical doctors who are able to prescribe medication. Sometimes, they also provide therapy, however, you will want to look into their approach and therapeutic training to learn more about how they provide psychotherapy. In some cases, a person might have a psychiatrist as well as a therapist whom they see weekly. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1"><i>Social worker </i> &#8211; many social workers pursue a clinical career where they have completed supervised therapy (clinical) hours and clinical supervision so they can provide therapy. Not all social workers pursue this path however. You will want to look for a social worker who has the letters &#8220;LCSWR.&#8221; This ensures they have the proper clinical experience/ clinical training. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1"><i>Psychologist </i>&#8211; these providers have completed a PhD or a PsyD and might conduct research, provide therapy, or provide a combination of the two. Again, you will want to learn about their expertise, training, and years in practice to familiarize yourself with their approach to treatment. There is a wide variety of specializations/ modalities within clinical  psychology so you may want to visit their website to learn more about their particular approach and the common issues treated.</span></p>
<h2 class="p1"><span class="s1"><b><i>Tip #3 Understand the difference in the options…</i></b></span></h2>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Here’s a very quick overview: you can receive these services through an outpatient clinic, a hospital, a stand alone clinic, or in a private practice setting. You can also pursue the services through one of those large virtual companies (i.e. Betterhelp for example) where they claim to set you up with the ‘best match for you.’ However, you will want to proceed with caution as these are large, high volume operations. I would be curious to understand how they manage to maintain high quality standards of care at such low costs and what systems are set up and in place to ensure a quality clinical experience. <strong>Remember, if it seems too good to be true&#8211;it probably is. </strong></span></p>
<p class="p1"><strong><span class="s1">If privacy is most important to you—yep, you guessed it!— A private practice setting is likely the best fit for you. </span></strong></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">With so many choices, it would make sense that you might feel overwhelmed. However, I’m going to offer you some inside tips on how to find the best care for you to help make your search easier. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">First, understand the landscape. What do I mean by that? Well, when managed care (insurance companies) took over the management of psychotherapy services in the 1980s, many things changed. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Managed care now determines the price of the therapy services, how long they deem care should go on for, and can even influence clinical decisions based on the diagnosis and what they deem is the best path or course of action. In short, the insurance companies have a lot of control over the matters related to your mental health care and what services they choose to cover. This is one of the reasons why many providers opt not be in-network with insurance companies—they would essentially be working for the insurance company instead of for themselves and their client(s). </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1"><b>Level of experience is part of what you are paying for…</b></span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">At the present time, many experienced therapists opt to accept insurance on an out-of-network basis. Meaning that the client pays for the service up front and the therapist provides the client with a receipt so they can submit it to their insurance company for reimbursement. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">This allows the therapist to maintain creative control over the therapy and set their own fees without input from the insurance companies. As a therapist who has been operating this way for a number of years, I can say that this allows for the highest quality care in a private practice setting. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">An experienced and fully licensed therapist (of any discipline) has spent many years training and perfecting their craft. In addition to the standard education in graduate school, experienced therapists have likely worked in several different clinical settings and have trained for many years (postgraduate) beyond the minimal requirements of licensure. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">It can be helpful to spend a little time considering what are you looking to change/ heal from or move through in therapy…perhaps you are wrestling with a major life transition, self-image issues or your sense of self-belief. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Maybe you want to act in more confident, self-assured ways. Or, perhaps you are struggling with intimate relationships, dating, communication with a partner, anxiety/ avoidance, or work relationships—there may be many reasons you are seeking out some help and support. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1"><b>People seek help at different points across the lifespan. </b></span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1"><b><i>Looking into low cost options…</i></b></span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">If you do not have a job currently or you are on a very tight budget, there are many options for good care. While many experienced therapists who are operating a private practice tend not to take insurance and charge higher fees, there are several very good options that allow you to have quality care at a more budget friendly price. First, it could be helpful to check in with a clinician to see if they are offering an equitable fee structure. Many times, clinicians reserve a portion of their practice for such spots and may have some openings, it&#8217;s worth it to ask! Training clinics can also be a great place to start. Many times, the therapists at training clinics have extensive experience already but are seeking some specialized training. As a clinician who has trained at many of them in NYC, I can personally attest that there is good clinical work happening within those spaces and solid supervision. The cost of sessions at these training clinics is often very low because the majority of their revenue is coming from paid trainings that they host for therapists as well as tuition. Therefore, the cost of therapy sessions are able to be kept on the lower end.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">The issue of access and affordability is a much larger conversation about our healthcare system in general. It’s a systemic problem and therefore requires a systemic consideration. Certainly, it’s not an easy or simple one to fix. The reimbursement rates to in-network providers are often very low and are not able to cover the cost of offering therapy services&#8211;and many of the insurance rates haven&#8217;t changed in decades! </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">In addition, insurance companies do not consider years in practice when setting reimbursement rates&#8211;this creates significant inequities across the mental health field in terms of fair and reasonable salaries for therapists. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1"><b>It will surely take thoughtful, committed action to bring about meaningful changes to our current healthcare system so that &#8211; as a society, we value more deeply the important work of therapists. Once we have a system that truly honors and values mental health across the board, the situation — including access to high quality care and services will begin to look very different.</b></span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">In the meantime, therapy services vary greatly in quality and are available at different price points depending on a number of factors. </span></p>
<h2 class="p1"><span class="s1"><b>Key takeaways given our current mental health landscape: </b></span></h2>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">-Go to the most experienced therapist you can afford. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">-Feel free to ask the therapist how many years of experience beyond graduate school they have as well as how many years they have been fully licensed in their state. You can also look up how long a therapist has been licensed in a particular state by searching their name on the department of licensed professions website. It will tell you how many years they have had their license.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">-Private practice settings will typically offer the most privacy. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">-If you are looking for an experienced and fully licensed professional, expect to pay a premium rate for treatment. However, don&#8217;t shy away from asking for a sliding scale if you truly need one. If you are curious about the <strong>benefits of therapy</strong>, you can check out <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/intro-to-therapy/">my post here</a>.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">-Insurance companies typically reimburse anywhere from 50%-80% of the full fee for out of network providers. So it it worthwhile to call your insurance company and find out your reimbursement rate, deductible, number of sessions covered per year. You can also get a quick check on you out-of-network benefits <a href="https://calculator.meetnirvana.com/">here.</a></span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">If you decide to call the number on the back of your card, you can ask them about the reimbursement percentage for 90791 (initial), 90834 (individual), and 90847 (couple/ family).<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>If they ask for the fee, you can give them $300 per session  rate so you can get an idea of what you’d actually be paying per session. Each geographic area of the country has what insurance calls a “reasonable and customary rate” based on a number of factors. NYC and SF tend to be on the higher end for example since they are more expensive cities. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">-Low cost care is accessible at local training clinics, however you may have a short wait to receive the services.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">-Local universities can often provide a list of low cost options in the area if you are on a tight budget or unemployed at the moment, it is worth reaching out to inquire.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">I hope you have found this post helpful on your journey. I know it might be a lot to take in initially, but once you get started, it will be worthwhile! </span><span class="s1">Feel free to send me an email if you have any questions about this post. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Warmly,</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Jennifer </span></p>

		</div>
	</div>
</div></div></div></div>
</div><p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/important-considerations-before-starting-therapy/">Important Considerations Before Starting Therapy&#8230;</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Breakup to Breakthrough: When Splitting Up is For the Best</title>
		<link>https://www.modernmft.com/breakup-to-breakthrough-when-splitting-up-is-for-the-best/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jennifer Uhrlass]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Nov 2020 20:20:50 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nurturing Hope + Resilience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trauma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Breakups]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[therapy for transitions]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.modernmft.com/?p=4237</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>&#8220;We desperately need a more open dialogue about how severely heartbreak impacts our emotions and functioning. And for such discussions to be productive, we have to disavow ourselves of the notion that there is something childish, embarrassing, or inappropriate about feeling severe emotional anguish when our heart is broken because heartbreak is devastating at any [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/breakup-to-breakthrough-when-splitting-up-is-for-the-best/">Breakup to Breakthrough: When Splitting Up is For the Best</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<blockquote>
<p class="_04xlpA direction-ltr align-center para-style-body"><span class="JsGRdQ">&#8220;We desperately need a more open dialogue about how severely heartbreak impacts our emotions and functioning. And for such discussions to be productive, we have to disavow ourselves of the notion that there is something childish, embarrassing, or inappropriate about feeling severe emotional anguish when our heart is broken because heartbreak is devastating at any age.&#8221; &#8211;</span><span class="JsGRdQ">Guy Winch</span></p>
</blockquote>
<p><span id="more-4237"></span></p>
<h2>Dealing With Heartbreak&#8230;</h2>
<p><span class="il">Breakups</span> can be one of the most painful emotional experiences whether or not you initiated it or even when they’re mutual. Often they involve many complicated emotions all at once—maybe you didn’t want it to end, and so you feel a deep and painful void. Or maybe you feel it was right that it ended but still deeply miss the person or aspects of the relationship you shared together.</p>
<h2>Overwhelming Grief&#8230;</h2>
<p>It might even feel like the loneliness can only be resolved by being with the person again. You might have regrets, unanswered questions, and many worries about the future&#8211;this is normal and to be expected. The grieving process can be overwhelming and feel like a double whammy in some ways—you might miss the person and then also the life you built together. You might know it&#8217;s for the best, but feel a deep sadness inside. Healing is possible and it starts with self reflection.</p>
<h2>Deepening Self-Awareness&#8230;</h2>
<p><span class="il">Breakups</span> bring a new beginning that we might not feel ready to step into fully. If you’re lucky, you may have had the chance to process your emotions together, but so often relationships end without this opportunity. When we honor our unique process of healing it allows us to move forward with greater clarity and intention.</p>
<p>You can learn to acknowledge:</p>
<p>“I am in pain, how can I allow myself to be curious about this experience?”</p>
<p>“How can I take care of myself through this rough patch?”</p>
<p>Allowing yourself the space and time to grieve, to reflect, and to use your supports can help you move through the pain and build greater awareness for yourself as a partner. We often want ‘resolve’ emotional pain ASAP, but our hearts just don’t work that way. Often, there is important work to engage in around this ending so that you can be available, receptive, and ready for your new beginning. Dating with intention is a unique process. It can be worthwhile to check in with self and make any updates as necessary.</p>
<h2 class="yj6qo">How Therapy Can Help&#8230;</h2>
<p>When we take the time to explore our inner world and address past hurts, we experience a powerful shift. To help begin the exploration process, you can ask yourself:</p>
<p>What are my beliefs about relationships?<br />
What constitutes a healthy relationship?<br />
How do I make space for my needs?<br />
What are my own personal goals in life? What are my dreams and why? How do I want to feel in my relationships?</p>
<p>Relationship beliefs can be both helpful/ unhelpful, here are a few covered in the evidence-based Seeking Safety model by Dr. Lisa Najavits:</p>
<p><strong>Helpful beliefs:</strong><br />
Seeks understanding, not blame<br />
In healthy, close relationships, anything can be talked about<br />
While losing a relationship may be painful, I can mourn and move on<br />
A good relationship requires effort but is worth it<br />
It is better to be alone than in a bad relationship</p>
<p><strong>Unhelpful beliefs:</strong><br />
I am always wrong, the other person is always right<br />
Good relationships are easy<br />
I must be liked by everyone<br />
The other person has to change<br />
Bad relationships are all I can get</p>
<p>Which ones resonate for you?</p>
<p>In healing yourself and addressing problematic patterns/ behaviors, you create new pathways of relating&#8211;which in turn can lead to greater relationship satisfaction. If you are going through a difficult breakup, perhaps <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/accelerated-programs/map-for-life-transitions/">MAPs For Life Transitions</a> can help! This unique program helps you deal with major life transition so you can experience relief and a sense of hope for your future. To get started, call 917.708.7088.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/breakup-to-breakthrough-when-splitting-up-is-for-the-best/">Breakup to Breakthrough: When Splitting Up is For the Best</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Learning how to set healthy boundaries&#8230;</title>
		<link>https://www.modernmft.com/learning-how-to-set-healthy-boundaries/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jennifer Uhrlass]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 08 Jul 2020 18:42:08 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication/ Conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotional Pressures]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family-of-Origin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mood + Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nurturing Hope + Resilience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trauma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friendship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy boundaries]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[setting intentions]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.modernmft.com/?p=4671</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Setting better boundaries doesn&#8217;t happen overnight&#8230; Deepening your understanding of your current boundary needs and setting a plan to honor them is radical self-love. If you have a hard time setting boundaries, you might struggle to feel productive or that you&#8217;re truly tending to your own needs. Life often feels scary and overwhelming without them. [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/learning-how-to-set-healthy-boundaries/">Learning how to set healthy boundaries&#8230;</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h2>Setting better boundaries doesn&#8217;t happen overnight&#8230;</h2>
<p>Deepening your understanding of your current boundary needs and setting a plan to honor them is radical self-love.</p>
<p><span id="more-4671"></span></p>
<p>If you have a hard time setting boundaries, you might struggle to feel productive or that you&#8217;re truly tending to your own needs. Life often feels scary and overwhelming without them. You set boundaries to protect yourself and so you can be at your best. Thinking carefully about your boundaries with self and others helps you to be more intentional.</p>
<p><strong>Can you think of a recent experience where you could have benefited from setting a better boundary?</strong></p>
<p>When I first started my private practice back in 2014, some of the advice I received was &#8220;you want to be available anytime so you can accommodate appointments.&#8221; It can be easy to overextend yourself in the service of others&#8211;especially as a therapist. While this may sound like a great idea in theory, what I&#8217;ve learned in my decade of being a practicing therapist is that offering the special service of therapy is a very energy-sensitive kind of offering&#8211;one that requires great care to deliver well. If I am not rested, nourished, or if I&#8217;m struggling in some way to meet my own needs, it&#8217;s not possible for me to provide the best possible service to my clients. In being thoughtful about my boundaries when it comes to type of offering/ when I offer my services and for how long, I am able to map out my time in such a way that allows me to be at my best.</p>
<p><strong>When you have good and clear boundaries with self and others, everyone wins.</strong> Because I have thought through my own needs, I&#8217;m able to be flexible in certain areas and I also know where I&#8217;m not able to be flexible.</p>
<h3>What do boundary problems look like?</h3>
<p>Boundary problems often present themselves in two ways: diffuse or rigid. When boundaries are too diffuse, we may struggle with enmeshed relationships. Essentially, there is too much closeness. When boundaries are too rigid, we might struggle to let someone in or build healthy connection with others. Essentially, we are too distant and have a hard time <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/why-is-trust-important/">trusting</a> others.</p>
<p>Boundary issues are important to correct and work on because they impact how we function in various relationships &#8212; with partners, colleagues, family members, friendships, and even on a first date.</p>
<blockquote><p>Boundary issues can cause serious problems if unaddressed because they can lead us to being taken advantage of, exploited, or unable to feel entitled to stand our ground on an issue. They can also lead to shutting people out, isolating ourselves, and not asking for help when we need it.</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>In real life this might look like:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>Struggling to say no when you want to</li>
<li>Not listening to yourself/ going against your judgment</li>
<li>Indecision for fear of letting others down</li>
<li>Giving in too easily</li>
<li>Not being clear with others</li>
<li>Subordinating your needs to others</li>
<li>Withholding from others</li>
<li>Closing self off from connection</li>
<li>Struggling to reach out</li>
<li>Struggling to make meaningful connections</li>
</ul>
<h3>What are <strong>intra</strong>personal boundaries?</h3>
<p>A critical but often overlooked aspect of this work is <strong>intra</strong>personal boundaries or boundaries within self. We often think of boundaries in the context of being between people, but boundaries within self are just as important.</p>
<p>For example, how you might talk to yourself about engaging in a potentially harmful situation or leaving work at a normal time rather than overworking. Intrapersonal boundary work is especially important since we can&#8217;t change others, we can only change ourselves. You can begin to work on boundary issues by practicing out loud what it sounds like/ feels like to say &#8220;yes&#8221; and &#8220;no&#8221; in specific situations of your life.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ll share more about this in an upcoming post ; )</p>
<p>If you are struggling with this area, here are a few questions that might be helpful to consider:</p>
<ul>
<li>My ideal situation would be_____.</li>
<li>I wish _____ was different about _______.</li>
<li>What makes it tough to set a boundary when it comes to _______?</li>
<li>How would it feel to have a more clear boundary in place as it relates to _______?</li>
<li>What are my top priorities right now?</li>
<li>What are three areas of struggle for me right now and how long has it felt this way?</li>
</ul>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/learning-how-to-set-healthy-boundaries/">Learning how to set healthy boundaries&#8230;</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Coping With COVID-19 Stress</title>
		<link>https://www.modernmft.com/coping-with-covid-19-stress/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jennifer Uhrlass]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 05 Apr 2020 19:47:14 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication/ Conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mood + Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nurturing Hope + Resilience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trauma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Coronavirus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COVID-19]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Crisis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Social isolation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stress Management]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tips]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.modernmft.com/?p=4602</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>How are you?  I hope you are safe and well as we continue to navigate these uncertain and scary times together.  I wanted to take a moment to share a few thoughts/ resources in the hope that it spreads some hope and serves as a gentle reminder that we have the capacity to exercise some [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/coping-with-covid-19-stress/">Coping With COVID-19 Stress</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h2 class="p1"><span class="s1">How are you? </span></h2>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">I hope you are safe and well as we continue to navigate these uncertain and scary times together. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">I wanted to take a moment to share a few thoughts/ resources in the hope that it spreads some hope and serves as a gentle reminder that <strong>we have the capacity to exercise some control</strong> as we go through our days in the context of this unprecedented time due to COVID-19.</span></p>
<p><span id="more-4602"></span></p>
<h3>Creating a sense of control&#8230;</h3>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">If there is any possible silver lining to self isolation, it may be that it is allowing us to reflect more deeply on how we spend our days. <strong>Perhaps this can help us to evaluate our intentions and be more present with our choices, our boundaries, and the people we choose to keep close.</strong> However, in addition to social distance, some of us may also be tasked with actually caring for loved ones who fall ill as we are all being significantly impacted in a variety of ways. <strong>Let’s not forget that we are all in this together. </strong>Kindness, curiosity, and small acts of care can go a long way!</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">There is no point in sugar coating: crisis mode is scary. Uncertainty can leave us with a feeling of losing control — unable to act in constructive ways. Sometimes it helps just to share with someone any strong feelings we might be having so that we can <strong>allow ourselves to receive some support and comfort.</strong></span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1"><strong>Let’s not forget that there is so much healing energy in just listening and feeling heard.</strong> You can do this for a partner, a friend, a neighbor, a family member, or a colleague. You can also do it for yourself &#8211; through journaling or meditating, for example.</span></p>
<h3>Making adjustments&#8230;</h3>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">As we continue to adjust to social distancing, new work schedules, and increased time at home alone or with family, it’s important to keep a sense of structure to our days. If we have small children, this is especially important. In maintaining a schedule, we can have a sense of normalcy and take the necessary steps to move through our days with a sense of purpose and control. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">When we are in a space of extreme unknowns, fear can trigger our stress response cycle. It can take a toll and leave us feeling stuck if we don&#8217;t respond to it and work to stabilize ourselves. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">In working to stabilize, putting supports in place, and creating new routines, we can do what we can to maintain a sense of inner peace, self-control, and normalcy when facing the uncertainty of the outside world. </span></p>
<h3>Start small&#8230;</h3>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">When feeling overwhelmed, start very small &#8211; even just focusing on our breath can have a significant impact on helping us to calm down so that we can become more effective. <strong>Just taking three deep breaths in and out, calmly and very slowly can help us regulate. </strong></span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">It takes our bodies approximately 20-minutes to calm down from a heightened state of arousal, think: when we are upset with someone, in an tough argument with a partner, or when we are feeling frustrated or triggered by something. This is because the stress hormones that are released when in fight, flight, or freeze mode need time to leave our bloodstream. We need to calm down in order to be effective. So take some time today (individually or with a partner) to do some deep breathing and get to a more settled place. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Creating an action plan to stabilize ourselves (as best we can), our relationships, and our family can help. <strong>There may be many feelings of fear and worry swirling around and this is a perfectly normal response to what has been unfolding as a result of the pandemic. </strong>These emotions are to be expected while experiencing a collective community/ global trauma. It’s important to honor any feelings that might be coming up by processing them so that you can feel supported in making a plan that works. It may be a good idea to take some space to gain clarity and talk through the worries by preserving some space in the coming weeks to unpack them in a thoughtful manner. </span></p>
<h3>Setting boundaries + intentions&#8230;</h3>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">You may find that, in order to stabilize, you have to take certain steps to help you sustain yourself and this may involve making tough decisions too. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">This might include talking through how to care for older family members, how to navigate childcare, finding time for good virtual social supports, and managing time for both work and personal while at home. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">If you are living with a partner, you may find it’s important to preserve some alone time along with your together time so that you can maintain connection and balance in your relationship while self-quarantining. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Taking time to open up about these important areas can be incredibly helpful when it comes to feeling more in control and maintaining a sense of calm. In discussion, you have a chance to better understand yourself and what action steps you may need to take to feel more grounded. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">You may find that you will need to sort out a more constructive way to work from home so that you can maintain your projects and responsibilities. This may also involve evaluating your present boundaries and updating them or making some small adjustments. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Take some time to organize yourself and get clear on how best to proceed given your unique situation. This is a unique circumstance where <strong>self-compassion is critical.</strong></span></p>
<h3>Give yourself a break&#8230;</h3>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Moving through COVID-19 is stressful!</span><strong><span class="s1"> Save all the harshness for another time. (Better yet, just get rid of the harsh self-talk altogether!) </span></strong></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">You will not have everything perfectly sorted in a day. It might take a little time to work out a good system for yourself and loved ones and that’s okay. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">There is no right way to start, we just have to start. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Fear has a way of robbing us of our ability to make good decisions and act rationally. From a grounded place, we can set the stage for the right action steps to take in order to maintain a sense of personal control and stability. </span></p>
<h3 class="p1"><span class="s1">A few simple suggestions to help you move through the coming weeks:</span></h3>
<h4><strong><span class="s1">Create cozy moments in your day</span></strong></h4>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">It might be preparing a special meal, listening to music, lighting a candle, or using a special body oil. Shifting the atmosphere &#8211; even in a small way, can help promote a sense of calm and improve our mood. </span></p>
<h4 class="p1"><span class="s1">maintain at least 20 minutes of physical activity a few days per week</span></h4>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">With many gyms closed and most of us staying indoors for much or all of the day, workout routines are significantly disrupted. Perhaps you can do a few reps of strength training or floor exercises to help you get moving. You may want to put on some music and just dance for 20 minutes or even join a virtual dance party. Any movement can help to significantly boost mood, complete the stress-response cycle, and help promote a sense of calm. </span></p>
<h4 class="p1"><strong><span class="s1">Be thoughtful about nutrition and especially processed sugar intake</span></strong></h4>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">While we are more restricted with our days, it seems even more important than normal to pay close attention to our nutritional intake and maintain high doses of fruits and veggies now. Perhaps take a little special care to add in a few more servings of the good stuff over these next few weeks. You may want to use some time to pay a little more attention to meal prep in general. </span></p>
<h4 class="p1"><strong><span class="s1">Dedicate some time to have a few <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/characteristics-of-an-effective-stress-reducing-conversation/">stress-reducing conversations</a> with a partner or a friend </span></strong></h4>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Social support and connection are essential to our well-being and especially in times of significant uncertainty. In stressful times, we need to experience both giving and receiving in order to help maintain feelings of closeness. A stress-reducing conversation helps you feel calm and cared for, try it out!</span></p>
<h4 class="p1"><strong><span class="s1">Plan some virtual dates with friends/ family</span></strong></h4>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Get together with people! Just because we are limiting our time out doesn&#8217;t mean we have to stop socializing altogether. Schedule some time to talk to your people. We are all in this together and maintaining connection matters.</span></p>
<h4 class="p1"><strong><span class="s1">Maintain a normal routine/ schedule of activities, naps, mealtimes for kids</span></strong></h4>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Kids need structure to thrive. If you have little ones and they are used to going to school or daycare, you will need to help recreate their activities and schedule so that they have a sense of what to expect day to day. It can help to have a few activities on hand similar to the activities and experiences your child may be involved in when going to daycare or school. You can help them to transition smoothly to being at home full-time by planning ahead to structure their day in a way that feels familiar and comforting. </span></p>
<h4 class="p1"><strong><span class="s1">Protect your energy levels</span></strong></h4>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">It’s important to preserve a sense of peace as best we can. Let the news update instead of dominate. This can be tough when it feels we are constantly bombarded with the latest stories. However, <strong>it’s important to set limits and boundaries around how much exposure is necessary and helpful.</strong> You may find it’s helpful to try and balance staying informed with disconnecting by a certain time. Or, perhaps setting a time to stop checking for updates can be a helpful boundary. </span></p>
<h4 class="p1"><strong><span class="s1">Get adequate rest and prioritize your sleep</span></strong></h4>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Creating rituals to shut down your day can be helpful. If sleep has been a challenge more recently, perhaps you can just start with one small adjustment like making some soothing tea about 30-minutes prior to sleep or setting a time to put down all screens to start your bedtime routine. If you find yourself worried about your to-do list before bed, you may want to try a ‘brain dump’ exercise where you write down all the things you’d like to get to in order to release it. This can help you to psychologically give yourself permission to rest. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">These small behavior changes can go a long way in terms of creating the right atmosphere to help sleep come more easily. Remember, you don&#8217;t have to have it all figured out right away, you can just start with one small thing to help you move closer to the goal. If sleep has been problematic, here are some <a href="https://www.sleepfoundation.org/articles/healthy-sleep-tips">great tips</a> to help you along.</span></p>
<h2 class="p1"><strong><span class="s1">A few news break distractions/ helpful resources:</span></strong></h2>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1"><strong>The Tribeca Film Festival</strong>, like so many cultural/ community events, has been put on hold for the time being. However, you can still enjoy some entertaining shorts when you sign for their newsletter. You can check out their <a href="https://www.tribecafilm.com/news/now-streaming-curated-shorts-from-tribeca-film-festival-alumni">latest one here</a>.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">If struggling to <strong>get more organized at home</strong>, check out <a href="https://www.thezoereport.com/p/turn-your-living-room-into-office-with-these-6-easy-tips-22649816" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">this great article</a> featuring Karin Bohn&#8217;s design tips for how to set up a work space at home (when used to working in an office).</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1"><a href="https://goop.com/the-goop-podcast/why-you-should-follow-your-envy/">This interesting interview</a> featuring Lori Gottlieb about her new book: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone &#8211; where she <strong>journeys into her experience both as a therapist and as a client.</strong> </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">If you are feeling particularly tense, take a few minutes to listen to some running water or the sounds of a forest…check out <a href="https://apps.apple.com/us/app/mindfulness-coach/id804284729">the Mindfulness Coach app</a> for a variety of brief meditations to <strong>help you relax and ground yourself</strong>. The nature sounds can be found under practice now—&gt; all —&gt; mindful listening. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">In addition, I&#8217;ll be hosting a free (ongoing) <strong>virtual mindfulness group</strong> on Mondays from 11:30-12:00. So if you’d like a little FaceTime with a familiar face where we practice some skills together, please join me! You can sign up <a href="https://www.eventbrite.com/e/practicing-mindfulness-together-tickets-100643897607?aff=erelexpmlt">here</a>.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">In keeping with the present safety measures, <strong>Modern MFT is now offering virtual sessions</strong> so we have the chance to meet face to face in the comfort of home. If you find yourself needing some additional support, please don’t hesitate to <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/contact-nyc-psychotherapist/">reach out</a>.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Well, I do hope there’s something useful in here for you; and feel free to share this with others if you think it might be helpful. These are anxiety-provoking and uncertain times, so please<strong> treat yourself kindly</strong>. And remember the words of Winston Churchill: ‘When you&#8217;re going through hell, keep going.’</span></p>
<p class="p1"><strong><span class="s1">Sending you peace and positive energy. </span></strong></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Warmly,</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Jennifer </span></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/coping-with-covid-19-stress/">Coping With COVID-19 Stress</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Exploring Your Personal Relationship To Nature&#8230;</title>
		<link>https://www.modernmft.com/exploring-your-personal-relationship-with-nature/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jennifer Uhrlass]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Mar 2020 21:35:31 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Desire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotional Pressures]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mood + Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nurturing Hope + Resilience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trauma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Calm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nature]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[peace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resilience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stress Management]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wellness]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.modernmft.com/?p=4215</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>You should sit in nature for 20 minutes a day…unless you&#8217;re busy, then you should sit for an hour – Zen saying Our relationship to nature can be a complex one. Exploring more deeply our personal experiences and what constitutes quality time in nature can help us to be more intentional when it comes to [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/exploring-your-personal-relationship-with-nature/">Exploring Your Personal Relationship To Nature&#8230;</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<blockquote>
<h4 class="null" style="text-align: center;"><span class="mc-toc-title">You should sit in nature for 20 minutes a day…unless you&#8217;re busy, then you should sit for an hour </span><span class="mc-toc-title">– Zen saying</span></h4>
</blockquote>
<p class="null"><span class="mc-toc-title">Our relationship to nature can be a complex one. Exploring more deeply our personal experiences and what constitutes quality time in nature can help us to be more intentional when it comes to prioritizing our mental health and wellness. </span></p>
<p><span id="more-4215"></span></p>
<p class="null"><span class="mc-toc-title">Many of us might feel stuck at a desk for most of the day and struggle to prioritize an adequate amount of time in nature. It&#8217;s important to consider not only how much time you spend in nature but also the quality of that time. Recent studies demonstrate that regular, meaningful contact with nature is correlated with greater mental and physical health, just as minimal or no contact with nature is associated with symptoms such as depression, anxiety, a sense of malaise, feelings of emptiness, attention problems, poor sleep, obesity, heart disease, and hypertension (Barton &amp; Pretty, 2010; Martyn &amp; Brymer, 2016; Weng &amp; Chiang, 2014).</span></p>
<p>At the American Family Therapy Academy&#8217;s national conference a few years back, I heard a wonderful and thought-provoking talk about taking an eco-informed approach to therapy which left a major impression on me.</p>
<p>The presenter, Dr. Tracey Laszloffy, emphasized the importance of helping clients to not only take inventory of how much time they spend in nature, but also helping them to assess the quality of their time in nature. So for example, if we are &#8220;in nature&#8221; but glued to our phone the entire time, are we truly experiencing the many benefits of nature?</p>
<p><strong>In modern times, it is not unusual for many of us to be without much time in nature for weeks or even months at a time.</strong></p>
<p>In a newly published article in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, Dr. Lazsloffy and her colleague Dr. Davis share:</p>
<blockquote><p>Our hope is to invite a consideration of the role of nature in one&#8217;s life (and vice‐versa), prompt a sincere reflection on one&#8217;s values about nature, and commit to assessing for and encouraging regular involvement with nature should clients so desire. (Lazsloffy &amp; Davis, 2019)</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Although the journal article is geared specifically toward mental health professionals, these insightful questions can help anyone to take a closer look at their relationship to nature and begin to explore it further: </strong></p>
<ul>
<li>What kind of interactions did you have with nature as a child?</li>
<li>How did you play or not play outdoors?</li>
<li>How much or how little did your parents engage with you in outdoor activities?</li>
<li>What thoughts and feelings did you have about nature as a child?</li>
<li>What thoughts and feelings do you currently have about nature?</li>
<li>How would you describe your relationship with nature?</li>
<li>What, if any, value does nature have to you?</li>
<li>How much time do you currently spend outdoors each week?</li>
<li>Is this amount of time acceptable to you? Does it meet your needs? If not, what prevents you from having more time?</li>
<li>What effect does interacting with/spending time in nature have on you?</li>
<li>Where are your favorite outdoor places and spaces? Why?</li>
<li>What are your most feared or disliked natural places/spaces? Why?</li>
<li>To what extent are you able to derive comfort and healing from the natural world?</li>
</ul>
<p>As indigenous communities have long understood, and as a growing body of research is beginning to demonstrate, an essential component of health and wellness involves having regular, meaningful contact with nature. (Besthorn, Wulff, &amp; St. George, 2010; Louv, 2011; Pretty, 2004; Weng &amp; Chiang, 2014).</p>
<p>Given the commitment that family therapists have to contextualizing our understanding of human experience, it only makes sense that we would include the ecological context in our consideration. (Laszloffy &amp; Davis 2019)</p>
<p>If you&#8217;d like to increase quality time spent in nature, what are some of your obstacles? What&#8217;s one step you can take this week to help you move closer to your wish?</p>
<p>References:</p>
<p>Besthorn, F. H., Wulff, D., &amp; St. George, S.(2010). Eco‐spiritual helping and postmodern therapy: A deeper ecological framework. Ecopsychology, 2(1), 23–32.</p>
<p>Louv, R. (2011). The nature principle: Human restoration and the end of nature‐deficit disorder. Chapel Hill, NC: Algonquin Books.</p>
<p>Pretty, J. (2004). How nature contributes to mental and physical health. Spirituality and Health International, 5, 68–78.</p>
<p>Weng, P., &amp; Chiang, Y. (2014). Psychological restoration through indoor and outdoor leisure activities. Journal of Leisure Research, 46(2), 203–217.</p>
<p>Barton, J., &amp; Pretty, J. (2010). What is the best dose of nature and green exercise for improving mental health? A multi‐study analysis. Environmental Science and Technology, 44(10), 3947–3955.</p>
<p>Martyn, P., &amp; Brymer, E. (2016). The relationship between nature relatedness and anxiety. Journal of Health Psychology, 21, 1436–1445.</p>
<p>Laszloffy, T. A., &amp; Davis, S. D. (2019). Nurturing nature: Exploring ecological self-of-the-therapist issues. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 45(1), pp. 176-185.</p>
<p>For more information on this topic, you can check out the following resources:</p>
<h2><strong>Videos</strong></h2>
<p>A playlist of TED talks focusing on reconnecting with nature: <a href="https://www.ted.com/playlists/398/reconnect_with_nature">https://www.ted.com/playlists/398/reconnect_with_nature</a></p>
<h2>Podcasts</h2>
<p><a href="http://www.npr.org/2013/09/27/216098121/everything-is-connected">http://www.npr.org/2013/09/27/216098121/everything-is-connected</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/exploring-your-personal-relationship-with-nature/">Exploring Your Personal Relationship To Nature&#8230;</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Cultivating Resilience, Self-Belief, and Identity</title>
		<link>https://www.modernmft.com/cultivating-resilience-self-belief-and-identity/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jennifer Uhrlass]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 24 Oct 2019 23:24:17 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Emotional Pressures]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family-of-Origin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Intimacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mood + Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nurturing Hope + Resilience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Process of Therapy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trauma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trust]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.modernmft.com/?p=4519</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Something that’s so important to keep in mind is this idea that you matter. We can often look around and experience so much noise around us that it can feel hard to feel a sense of peace and calm inside. It can also feel hard to maintain a sense that we are important and that [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/cultivating-resilience-self-belief-and-identity/">Cultivating Resilience, Self-Belief, and Identity</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Something that’s so important to keep in mind is this idea that you matter. We can often look around and experience so much noise around us that it can feel hard to feel a sense of peace and calm inside. It can also feel hard to maintain a sense that we are important and that we matter &#8211; to ourselves and to others.</span></p>
<p><span id="more-4519"></span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">I often think about this especially when it comes to relationships and how we relate and interact in relationships and how we experience closeness with others. For some, it is difficult to cultivate this consistently. There is often a tendency to look at how others impact us instead of how we impact others. I think we need to reverse this. This is not to say that how others treat us or interact with us isn&#8217;t important, (of course it is!), but in order to “do our part” we need to examine how we are contributing to the conversation and how we are entering an interaction. For example, we might be out in the world and maybe we are feeling rather small or insignificant in some ways &#8211;<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>how does this then translate into how we experience ourselves and others in relationship? </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">If we didn&#8217;t grow up in an environment where we felt validated and affirmed (or particularly important in terms of how we felt or what we had to say), it can be harder to trust and truly believe in our goodness or believe in our gifts &#8211; or to even identify what our gifts are. This is especially difficult if we are also part of a group that has a history of being oppressed or shut out or shut down in their everyday lives. This can make it incredibly difficult to cultivate a sense of “I matter” “how I show up &#8211; what I have to say, my feelings have a right to be heard, I matter, I count.” I think if we don&#8217;t cultivate that inside as we grow, we can go our whole lives feeling a sense of “without” or a sense that we are not important. This has grave consequences &#8211; relationally, culturally, and globally. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">So where to start? In my work as a therapist, I am always conscious and interested in how I help a person to become more empowered in their own life. There is a process involved: assessment, history taking, understanding of what’s working, what’s not, etc. I like to work very organically with my clients meaning that if something comes up that we feel deserves more time and attention, we may stay there for a little while to explore and to heal. Foundational to where we go is understanding their values as an individual. Exploring what is truly important and why helps us to have clarity about how we decide to move through life. Congruence, meaning your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are in alignment. You don&#8217;t say &#8220;I&#8217;m fine&#8221; when you actually feel terrible. You don&#8217;t say you care about someone but your actions prove otherwise. You are in alignment. When we are congruent, we can move through life with greater intention and make decisions with courage and conviction. </span></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/cultivating-resilience-self-belief-and-identity/">Cultivating Resilience, Self-Belief, and Identity</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Do I need therapy? Maybe. Probably. Don’t we all?</title>
		<link>https://www.modernmft.com/do-i-need-therapy-maybe-probably-dont-we-all/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jennifer Uhrlass]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 24 Oct 2019 22:36:17 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication/ Conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Desire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotional Pressures]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family-of-Origin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Intimacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mood + Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nurturing Hope + Resilience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Process of Therapy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Separation/ Divorce/ Breakups]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex + Affection]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Transition to Parenthood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trauma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trust]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.modernmft.com/?p=4514</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>We all go through times when we feel ill-equipped to navigate a tough situation or distant from ourselves and others. We might know something’s off but struggle to figure out exactly how to change it or what can be done to produce different results. Therapy offers a tailored approach to your personal development and improvement, [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/do-i-need-therapy-maybe-probably-dont-we-all/">Do I need therapy? Maybe. Probably. Don’t we all?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class="p1"><span class="s1">We all go through times when we feel ill-equipped to navigate a tough situation or distant from ourselves and others. We might know something’s off but struggle to figure out exactly how to change it or what can be done to produce different results.</span></p>
<p><span id="more-4514"></span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Therapy offers a tailored approach to your personal development and improvement, and it provides a safe space to address a variety of concerns that are preventing you from enjoying your life to the fullest.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">As a therapist, I can tell you that many of my clients reach out because they are struggling with a major life transition, a painful relationship issue, career related concerns, or a family conflict. Other times, people reach out to improve their physical intimacy and the quality of their communication with their partners. Sometimes they come in to develop healthy coping skills and work on living in more alignment with their personal values. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">Additionally, some people come in to work on wounds that were never properly cleaned or ‘disinfected’ so-to-speak, and so the work involves ‘removing the bandaid,’ tending to the damage, and re-bandaging the wound so that it can finally heal.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">To help my clients, I first listen carefully not only to their personal stories and what brings them in, but also to the many different narratives that make up their unique identities. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">I walk with people for little while, holding hope, strength, and the firm belief that things can improve…</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">I founded Modern Marriage &amp; Family Therapy, PLLC to expand my capacity to help others to live fuller, more enjoyable lives by addressing issues and patterns that are acting as barriers to real connection and personal fulfillment. <strong>My  approach is based on the belief that the therapy experience should feel safe, open, honest, and constructive.</strong> I help my clients take the necessary steps to make their lives and relationships more fulfilling, productive, and easier. </span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">”We get together on the basis of our similarities, we grow on the basis of our differences.”</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">-Virginia Satir </span></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.modernmft.com/do-i-need-therapy-maybe-probably-dont-we-all/">Do I need therapy? Maybe. Probably. Don’t we all?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.modernmft.com">Modern MFT</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
			</item>
	</channel>
</rss>
